


revelations and heartaches

by xavierurban



Series: Kit's 2021 DC Event Fics [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Begging, Bottom Jason Todd, Choking, Communication, Creampie, Crying, Dirty Talk, Dom Tim Drake, Domestic Fluff, Feeding, Foot Jobs, Frottage, Hand-feeding, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape, JayTimWeek2021, Kissing, Kneeling, M/M, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstimulation, Platonic D/s, Rimming, Sex Toys, Sub Jason Todd, Subspace, Top Tim Drake, Vibrators, breath play, brief mutual pining, cum facials, dom space, dom/sub dynamics, domestic service, kink negotation, mild panic attacks, really there's a weird amount of food involved in this fic, sexual D/s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-24 08:14:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 37,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30069303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xavierurban/pseuds/xavierurban
Summary: JayTimWeek Day 2: RequestorRedemption/Fall From GraceJayTimWeek Day 4: Free Day“Ask me,” Tim says breathlessly before he presses another kiss to Jason’s lips. His grip on Jason’s shirt tightens and he pushes forward, backing Jason up against the counter. He looks up at him desperately, so much heat in his gaze, and then nips at Jason’s jaw.“Ask me, Jason,” he repeats, and Jason groans as he drags curled fingers down Tim’s back, scratching at him through his shirt.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Series: Kit's 2021 DC Event Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166846
Comments: 26
Kudos: 130
Collections: JayTim Week 2021





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a tiny bit early (less than an hour!), but Tuesdays are one of the days that I work, and I have some homework to do when I get home before my classes on Wednesday morning, so I figured it was better to drop this here tonight. It's already past midnight in some other timezones, anyway, right?
> 
> This was supposed to only be for day two, but I need a bit of time to finish it, alas. Shockingly, it kept growing longer and longer, which is clearly a very novel experience for me and not at all a reoccurring theme >.> I'm hopeful that Chapter 2 will be up on Thursday as a response to 'free day', but if not, my goal is to have it up by the end of the event week! I only have about a scene and a half left for it.
> 
> Also, while there is a little bit of smut in this chapter, the bulk of those Sexy Tags refer to Chapter 2. Just to help people manage expectations and all that.
> 
> Title is from Wake Up by The Vamps.
> 
> Enjoy! ♥

Jason knows that he has “issues.” He _knows_ that it’s perfectly normal - hell, that it’s _expected_ \- for subs to go down when having sex, to _enjoy_ doing so, that it’s not always the nightmare he’s learned to equate it with. That someone like him, a sub who will only allow himself to be put down in platonic, non-sexual scenes, is the exception and not the norm.

He knows that, at least in his case, the divide is trauma-based. That this is something that was _taken_ from him.

Knowing all of that doesn’t make it any easier to change the way he _feels_ , though.

The last time Jason was put down during sex was when he was with Talia - nearly half a lifetime ago, now. And before that, not since a few nights before Bruce finally took him home from Ma Gunn’s.

Usually, it’s not a problem. It took years, but he’s _used_ to it now. He’s secure with the knowledge that he can go to any number of the people in his life and ask to be put down and know, without a doubt, that they won’t expect sex from him. That they won’t try to take it from him when he’s too far gone to protest.

It’s been _years_ since it’s been a thought that’s plagued him, years since he’s had more than a fleeting thought about sex and dynamics in the context of _himself._ Which is why it’s throwing him for such a loop now. Lately, it seems like all he can think about when he’s up and isn’t being kept busy by casework or some other task that requires his brainpower.

It’s getting worse when he’s down, too, he’d noticed.

Better to stay up than to risk something going amiss, he’d decided.

It’s been three months since his last down, and Jason feels like he’s going to start crawling out of his skin. He’s gone longer in the past, but never in recent years. It’s been so long since he’s had reason to go more than a month between scenes. The only reason he’s gotten away with it so long without anyone growing suspicious is because he's been known to go down for a wide enough circle of people that he can easily pretend he’s already gone to someone else to get what he needs.

It’s not going to work for much longer, though. Even now, Jason is aware of Bruce’s gaze lingering on him during quiet moments in the Cave and on patrol, his brow creased in quiet concern that has surely already begun to piece together the signs. The _symptoms_.

He could go to Bruce, Jason knows. He would be the safest best. If Jason did something so painfully out of character while down, Bruce would put an end to it before it could become something worse. Through all of their ups and downs over the years, Jason hasn’t once doubted Bruce’s vow to never, _ever_ engage him sexually. Not since his earliest days at the Manor, anyway, when his fears still ran rampant and he had no reason yet to trust Bruce at his word.

But even though he’s confident to his core that Bruce wouldn’t take advantage of him, the thought of coming onto his own _father_ is mortifying at best. Jason is ashamed just thinking that it could happen; how would he survive if it _did?_

It’s virtually the exact same problem with Dick.

Kyle could - and would, Jason’s sure - do it, if asked, but Jason’s just not sure if he wants that. He’s had sex with Kyle before, but he’s never gone down for him - having the first time he does be _during_ sex, when he’s done no such thing in well over a decade, just sounds like trouble waiting to happen. Trying to go down first will only blur the lines, since Kyle is used to accepting Jason’s advances, so they couldn’t even feasibly do a trial-run first.

Steph and Cass are far too exclusive for Jason to even dare consider asking Steph to put him down right now, not if he’s only going to embarrass himself by throwing himself at her in a way she’s not interested in.

Jason doesn’t want to put Barbara in a position where she might have to make herself hurt him to subdue him if he gets too insistent, and Damian is simply not an option. He’s damn-near a true neutral on the dual scale and he’s always going to have trouble Domming or subbing for someone as far towards one end of the scales as Jason is. Not to mention that’s his _baby brother_ and, young adult now or not, Jason would sooner throw himself off a building with no grapple than ever throw himself at Damian.

Duke would, perhaps, be a good option. The other man is straight enough to not be tempted by any advances Jason might make, at least, but would their relationship recover from the awkwardness? Duke is probably the Bat he’s the second-closest to, someone he feels completely at ease around given that none of the painful history is hovering over them. Jason doesn’t want to lose that.

Which leaves him with only one option, and Jason isn’t sure he’s strong enough to do it.

If he’s willing to be completely honest with himself, Jason would be forced to admit that Tim is the reason he’s in this mess in the first place. More and more often, Jason has found himself going to Tim as his first choice when he needs to go down. Even before this self-imposed dryspell, it had been months since he’d gone to anyone besides Tim to meet his needs, with a single exception when Tim was unavailable due to an undercover mission.

And it’s not just about sceneing. More and more often in the past few years, Jason has found himself working more closely with Tim, has found himself dropping in on the younger man to ensure he’s not wasting away under piles of work. Has found Tim dropping in on _him_ when he goes a little too long without making contact with the family. Has found fresh groceries and restocked first aid kits waiting for him in safehouses he hasn’t used in months. Thumbdrives full of intel have a habit of appearing amongst his belongings. 

He can’t give that up. He can’t jeopardize that by making a fool of himself, can’t knowingly put Tim in such a compromising position without telling him beforehand that it might happen - but also can’t bear the thought of Tim’s disgust or hasty withdrawal if Jason tells him what he’s been feeling.

He has no right to ask for _more_ than what Tim is already so graciously giving him, and he can’t risk losing control of himself when it’s too late. There’s no winning, then, which puts Tim just as firmly out of the running as everyone else.

Maybe he should just ask Kyle, after all. Maybe he can just fuck it out of his system without going down at all, and then everything can go back to normal.

And, yet, Jason’s thumb hesitates for so long over the call button on his phone that the screen goes blank. He stares down unseeingly at his own reflection in the glass, his mind cluttered with thoughts of Tim. He can practically _feel_ his heart aching with his longing for the younger man’s steady hand and gentle but firm domination. It’s always so easy with Tim, so natural. He wants the feeling of his Dom’s fingers in his hair, the low, steady drone of his voice in Jason’s ears. Wants the bright, bubbly feeling he gets in his gut when Tim’s eyes sparkle as he tells Jason how good he is.

Jason barely notices the tears blurring his vision until one of them falls and splashes against his darkened phone screen. The device shakes slightly along with his grip, and Jason gasps softly as he lets it go. It bounces against his mattress before settling, and Jason lifts his hands to dig the heels of his palms into his eyes. A shiver wracks through him, and he swallows down a whine threatening to tear out of his throat.

Fuck. _Fuck_ , he might not have much of a choice at this point - he knows the signs of a drop when he feels them.

Moment of truth, then.

Jason takes a sharp breath and holds it for a long moment, and then he lets it out slowly as he picks his phone back up and wipes the moisture off the screen with the sleeve of his sweater. He unlocks in and backs out of Kyle’s contact listing, scrolling first up towards the top of his contacts, but he doesn’t even make it up to the _B_ s before he’s scrolling back down instead. He selects Tim’s personal cell phone and hits dial before he can talk himself out of it, raising the phone to his ear as his breathing hitches again.

“Jay!” Tim greets brightly, and Jason’s eyes immediately fill with fresh tears as he takes in a ragged breath. “I’ve been meaning to ca--” Tim pauses, cutting himself off, and Jason can imagine so clearly the way the younger man’s eyes must be narrowing as his expression goes serious. “Hey, take a breath for me, darling. Tell me what’s wrong.” Jason obeys easily, even having such a simple instruction to follow beginning to settle the swirling chaos in his mind.

“T-Tim,” he chokes out, “I’m dr-dropping.” He takes another sharp breath, listening to the rustling sounds coming down the phone line. “P-please. Please, I need-”

“Shh,” Tim murmurs, and Jason’s jaw snaps shut immediately. “Shh, it’s going to be alright, Jay. I’ve got you, do you understand?” Jason nods before he realises that Tim can’t see him.

“Y-yes, Sir,” he rasps, and Tim hums.

“Good,” he purrs, and Jason shudders all over. “Tell me where you are, Jason.”

“R-Robinsville,” he replies, knowing Tim will know which safehouse that indicates.

“Good. That’s good, darling,” Tim praises, and Jason whines quietly. “None of that now, Jay. You’re alright. I’m going to be there as soon as I can, so I don’t want you to go anywhere.” Jason nods again, making a soft noise of acknowledgement. He hears the sound of Tim’s keys jangling and then of a door closing, and Jason tries to make himself relax, tries to tell himself that Tim is coming and everything will be okay. He’s going to have the chance to be good soon.

“Jason,” Tim says firmly, and Jason makes an inquisitive sound, “I want you to go to the kitchen and make us a small charcuterie board. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes, Sir.”

God, even Jason can hear the relief in his own voice when he speaks, the order settling deep inside of him and helping to still his shaking hands. His lungs seem to expand more easily, too, his breathing a little smoother and deeper without having to focus on making it so.

“Good,” Tim says above the sound of a car door closing. “When you’re done, turn the kettle on and make us a nice pot of your favourite tea. Then you’re going to bring it all out to the living room and kneel by the couch to wait for me. Do you need me to repeat anything?”

“No, Sir,” Jason murmurs.

“Good boy,” Tim praises, “you listen so well, Jay. I’m so proud of you.” Jason whines at that, warmth spreading through his chest, and Tim chuckles down the line. “Alright, Jay. Go ahead and get started. Put your phone on speaker so I can listen to you. I’ll be there soon.”

Jason gives a quiet _‘okay’_ and then lowers his phone, switching it to speakerphone and then stands up to make his way to the kitchen. The phone goes onto the countertop before he opens one of the cupboards and pulls out a simple, wooden board, which he then sets on the center island. Then he takes out a cutting board and knife before moving over to the fridge to pull out a few blocks of cheese, a stick each of pepperoni and kielbasa, and a bag of grapes.

It’s easy to fall into a rhythm as he brings them over to the island and starts cutting the cheese and the meats. Tim’s breathing and the low drone of traffic is a comforting buzz in the background as he finishes with that and moves to grab a few boxes of crackers from the pantry. He arranges the crackers, meats, and cheese onto the wooden board and then takes the knife and cutting board over to the sink. He sets them inside and then grabs a fresh board and a new knife before returning to the island with them. He takes an apple from the fruit bowl on the island and slices it up before adding it to the board, and then he carefully detaches two branches of grapes from the bundle and adds them, as well.

When he’s finished, Jason returns the leftovers to their appropriate homes and takes the second knife and cutting board to the sink, too. He hesitates for a moment, but decides that Tim didn’t tell him to worry about the dishes. There will be more to wash later, anyway, and so he can just do them then. Instead, he takes the kettle off of the stove and fills it before returning it and turning the burner on. As it boils, he takes down two mugs, a teapot, and a container of loose-leaf mint tea, and then he adds a few spoonfuls of the tea leaves into the pot’s filter.

Carefully, Jason lifts the charcuterie board and carries it out the living room, setting it on the end table next to the couch and then returning to the kitchen to wait on the kettle. When it finally whistles, he shuts the burner off and opens the spout, letting the steam escape as he moves it to another burner to cool for a moment so as not to burn the leaves. When he deems it ready, he adds the water to the pot and then sets the kettle back onto the stovetop before placing the lid on the teapot. He adds a spoonful of sugar to Tim’s mug, knowing the younger man prefers it a bit sweeter, and then takes a few moments to just breath as the tea steeps.

When it’s done, he splits the tea between the two mugs and then carries them out to the living room, setting them on coasters next to the charcuterie board on the end table. He takes a plush cushion off of the couch and drops it onto the floor before kneeling down on it with his wrists crossed behind his back and his head bowed.

He breathes slowly, letting himself revel in the knowledge that he’s done as asked and that Tim will be pleased with him when he arrives.

* * *

By the time Tim makes it to Jason’s apartment, the silence is starting to get to him. It’s his own fault, he knows, but that doesn’t make it any easier to handle. He’d heard the kettle whistle a few minutes before he turned onto Jason’s street, which means the silence is likely indicative of Jason following the instructions that Tim had given him. Knowing that makes something warm spread through Tim’s chest, but it still can’t smother the cold anxiety stabbing through him.

He can’t help but feel responsible. Tim had known that something was off when Jason suddenly started keeping his distance outside of patrol, but he had let himself write it off. Told himself Jason was probably seeing someone else - and that he had _no right_ to be upset about that. Because Jason isn’t his.

Tim takes him down the most, cares for him when Jason neglects to take care of himself, and has come to more than a few times in his bed when he’s sure he’d fallen asleep at his desk and then stumbled to the kitchen only to find one of Jason’s casseroles or stews waiting for him, but he isn’t Jason’s Dom, and Jason isn’t his sub.

Still. Maybe he’s as close to that as anyone’s ever going to get, and that means he had a responsibility to confront Jason about avoiding him - or, at the very least, to check in and make sure he’d been getting what he needed somewhere else, if he felt he couldn’t get it from Tim anymore.

But, no. No, Tim had to let himself get jealous and hurt at the perceived rejection, at the mere suggestion that Jason had chosen to go to someone else instead, and so he’d never let himself look any deeper lest he end up with a face to put with his jealousy.

God, Jason had probably been avoiding him _because_ he could sense Tim stewing in his jealousy. That sort of possessive, moody, over-dominant behaviour is exactly what Jason dislikes about so many people of Tim’s designation.

All the more reason for him to pull it together now. He can’t storm in there right now seething with anger at himself and drowning under the fierce, overwhelming duty that he feels towards the older man. It’s only going to put Jason more on edge than he already is.

Tim clenches his fists and takes a few deep breaths that he lets out slowly before he finally reaches out to key in the personalized codes that Jason had given him for this safehouse. This _apartment_ , really, because Tim knows all too well that this is Jason’s preferred residence, the one he spends the most time at. It still makes pride flicker inside him that he’s been trusted with his own codes to the apartment, that Tim can go in and out of it unmonitored unlike anyone else who’s been granted access by way of the standard codes - and even those people are few and far between.

The system beeps quietly after Tim finishes inputting the codes, and then he leans in close enough for the retinal scan to complete. There’s no noise as the locks disengage, just a brief flashing of green across the keypad alerting Tim to the fact that he can now try the handle without finding himself on the receiving end of an electric jolt strong enough to rival Dick’s escrima sticks.

He lets himself into the apartment without any further delay, though he takes the time to diligently reengage all of the security measures before he slips off his shoes and steps into the kitchen. He reaches up to hang up the call on his headset as he winds around the island to linger in the archway between the kitchen and the living room.

He can tell from the pattern of Jason’s breathing and the slight tension in his shoulders that the sub has noticed his arrival, but Tim still takes a moment to take in the man before him before making himself truly known. Tim isn’t sure he’ll ever get used to how stunning Jason looks like this, down on his knees just for Tim. Even with the tension in his muscles, Jason could still give the sub stars of every romance film a run for their money with his perfectly-crossed wrists and his bowed head, the gentle slope of his back and his thighs that are spread _just right_ so that Tim would have a perfect view while standing before him if this were a different kind of scene.

 _Fuck_.

It’s really not the time to be thinking that. It’s _never_ the time to be thinking that, but especially not when Jason has only called him here under duress.

Carefully, Tim removes his suit jacket and deposits it across one of the stools at the island, and then he removes his bluetooth and sets it on the countertop. He lets his foot scuff lightly against the floor, further confirming his presence to Jason, as he steps into the living room.

“Look at you,” he purrs as he unbuttons one of his sleeves and starts to roll it up towards his elbow. “Such a beautiful boy.” Jason shivers and makes a low noise in the back of his throat, but that’s all he does. Tim steps closer as he moves on to rolling up his other sleeve, and then he reaches out to card his fingers through Jason’s thick curls. The sub shivers again, and Tim massages Jason’s scalp with his fingertips for a few seconds before he twists his fingers into Jason’s hair and slowly tugs his head back until Jason’s throat is pulled taut so he can look up at Tim.

“Hey there,” Tim murmurs, his lips curling into a soft smile. “You’re such a good boy to wait for me just like I asked, darling.” Jason whines at that, his eyelids fluttering and his throat bobbing as he swallows. It isn’t long before moisture begins to well up in his eyes and his breathing turns ragged. Tim’s smile only softens. “Oh, Jay,” he says, “I’m here now. Everything’s going to be okay.”

They stay just like that for a few moments until Jason’s breathing evens out and then Tim lets go of him, chuckling fondly when Jason lets out a noise of protest even as he returns to his previous position. He steps around Jason and lowers himself down onto the couch, his legs spread so that Jason slots between them easily.

Tim hums as he looks towards the end table.

“What do we have here?” he asks in faux-curiosity as he reaches for the charcuterie board Jason had put together for them. It had been a good choice, if Tim does say so himself. Something to serve as a task-oriented distraction while Jason waited for him to arrive, and the perfect segue into a hand-feeding scene to ease Jason’s way down and stave off the drop he’d nearly slipped into. “Hands out, Jay,” he instructs, and Jason lifts them immediately, head raising along with them though he does keep his gaze lowered so as not to make eye-contact. Tim lowers the board into Jason’s hands, not letting go until he’s sure that the older man has it held firmly.

“This looks amazing, Jay,” he praises, smile widening as Jason’s cheeks flush pink. “You’re so good to me, taking care of me after a long day at work like this. Such a good sub.”

Tim picks up a cube of cheese and brings it to his lips, parting them to catch it with his teeth and bite off the front half. He keeps a careful gaze on Jason as he does, watching the way the sub’s eyes follow his movement, undisguised hope clouding them. The corner of Tim’s lips quirk up into a smile after he swallows, and he could swear he sees Jason’s shoulders slump with relief. He pops the rest of the cheese into his mouth and chews it as he reaches down and grabs a grape, offering it to Jason this time.

Jason’s gaze sweeps over Tim’s face for a moment before narrowing in on his fingers, his eyes going a little cross-eyed in the process before he closes them and opens his mouth to carefully take the piece of fruit.

“Good boy,” Tim murmurs as he reaches out to cup Jason’s cheek for a moment, his thumb brushing over Jason’s cheekbone before he withdraws and takes a slice of kielbasa and puts it on one of the round crackers. He munches on that for a few seconds, the hunger he’d ignored for too long throughout the day steadily rising to his attention now that he’s had a taste of _something_.

He offers Jason a cube of cheese next, and then a cracker, and he tells himself it’s a completely normal thing to do when he brushes the crumbs from Jason’s bottom lip with the pad of his thumb.

Tim takes turns between feeding himself and feeding Jason for a few minutes before he pauses to reach for one of the mugs of tea and takes a large gulp. It’s cooled a bit too much by now, but it’s a blend that still tastes okay enough when it’s not hot.

He reaches for the other mug after he sets his down and turns back to Jason to see the sub watching him closely. Tim smiles down at him.

“You can put the board down for now, darling,” he coaxes, and when Jason hesitates, he reaches out with his free hand to brush Jason’s hair away from his forehead. “It’s okay, Jay. On my lap, that’s it. It’s okay. Good boy.” He practically beams when Jason sets the board down across his lap as gently as possible, and Tim holds the mug out to him.

“Both hands, Jay,” he prompts, and Jason obeys easily, taking the tea carefully into his hands. “Small sips.”

It’s a needless instruction, really, because Jason is always careful with his tea, but Tim likes the excuse to tell Jason how good he’s being when he obeys.

He does just that, watching as the flush returns to Jason’s cheeks, and then he picks at the tray in his lap, nibbling on a few more morsels of food as he watches Jason carefully. When Jason hesitantly lowers the mug and holds it out, Tim hums.

“Had enough?” he asks, and Jason nods.

“That’s okay,” Tim murmurs as he takes the mug and sets it back on the end table, “thank you for telling me, Jay.” He tips his head, assessing the other man for a moment, and then asks, “can you put your hands behind your back for me, Jay?” Jason does, of course, and Tim beams at him again. “Good boy.”

He looks down as he picks up one of the apple slices from the board and holds it out to Jason, and he’s surprised to find that Jason’s eyes are on his own when he looks up again. Of course, Jason is quick to lower his gaze, leaning forwards gracefully to wrap his lips around the fruit. His lips brush over the tips of Tim’s fingers, and Tim feels himself shiver, his breathing stuttering for a split second.

Jesus, what is _wrong_ with him?

The snap of the apple slice breaking nearly startles him, and Tim narrows his gaze slightly when he looks at Jason again. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say there was something _playful_ in Jason’s expression. He must be mistaken. The only reason for Jason to tease in a way like that would be if he _knew_ , and, well. This is Jason. If he knew the kind of thoughts Tim entertained about him, he would have kicked Tim to the curb before he would have played along.

Unless it’s a subconscious thing. A Jason- _has_ -noticed-and-being-down-has-his-instincts-acting-up thing.

Tim tries to shake it off, adjusting his grip to offer the other half of the apple slice to Jason, who leans in after a few seconds to take it. It’s not only Jason’s lips that linger on his skin this time, but his tongue, too, darting out to lap at the pads of Tim’s fingers before he withdraws to chew on the fruit. Tim’s gut twists with arousal and shame both as his dick twitches where it’s hidden beneath the charcuterie board in his lap.

Thank God for that small mercy. The last thing he wants to do is give Jason the wrong idea about what he wants from him. Tim shifts slightly and distracts himself with another slice of kielbasa, but when his gaze finally returns to Jason– 

Well, honestly, it feels a bit like a punch to the gut. Jason’s lips are parted slightly, a blush painted high across his cheeks, and his eyes are hazy in that way sub’s eyes always are when they’re not-entirely-there. He’s so fucking beautiful like this, and Tim has to swallow against the whine of frustration that wants to escape him.

God, it’s not fair. It’s not fair that he gets to have Jason _only_ like this. Only as a friend, as a _brother_.

Even that is a gift, he knows, but it’s just that he wants so much _more_ , and when Jason looks like this… It’s too easy to imagine that he has that. It’s too easy to imagine Jason looking up at him like that in the middle of a different kind of scene.

It’s a miracle Tim’s hands don’t shake as he picks up another block of cheese and holds it out for Jason to take, and he has to fight to stay still as Jason’s lips close around his fingertips once more. He can’t fight against the arousal entirely, though, can’t stop the way his dick twitches and stiffens a fraction.

“You’re cheeky tonight,” he says after a moment, and Jason’s blush only darkens.

 _Interesting_.

The next several bites he feeds to Jason go much the same, and Tim’s sure he’s sporting a proper semi by the time Jason shakes his head slightly and turns away from the piece of apple Tim holds out to him. Tim hums and then takes the apple slice for himself, and then he reaches out to brush Jason’s curls away from his face.

“Good boy, Jay,” he praises, his fingertips trailing down the side of Jason’s face before withdrawing. “You did so good for me.” The sigh Jason lets out sounds so blissful and content that it makes Tim smile, helps him to disguise the strained expression threatening to overtake his features. Willing his half-hard cock to soften is getting him nowhere, and he can’t keep this half-empty board of food across his lap forever. He’s just going to have to hope Jason doesn’t notice, isn’t he? Fuck.

Maybe he can stall a few more minutes, at least. Who knows, it might just give him the time he needs to get control of his body.

Tim reaches for Jason’s tea again and holds it out to him, and the sub takes it obediently, sipping at it slowly for a minute or so before he holds it out for Tim to take back again. After Tim sets it aside, he lifts the board and sets it back on the end table, his movements lacking his usual grace as he tries to shift to hide his arousal.

Jason doesn’t outright comment on it, but Tim wasn’t exactly expecting him to. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t _noticed_ , though, and when Tim turns back to face him, he takes a moment to really look at Jason, trying to find any hint of tension in his posture, of fear or anxiety in his eyes or his breathing. But Jason is as steady as he’s been since Tim first sat down before him, his breathing easy and his limbs loose. Tim breathes out a quiet breath of relief.

Jason hasn’t noticed, then. Thank God.

He reaches out again, feeling more confident this time as he cards his fingers through Jason’s hair again.

“How are you doing, darling?” he asks gently, his lips curling into a smile when Jason presses into his hand and gives him a lazy grin. “Yeah?” He presses a little harder and digs his nails in slightly, scratching Jason’s scalp and drawing a low, pleased hum from the sub. “Such a good boy, Jay. You like your scritches, huh?”

Jason hums again, his eyelids drooping as he relaxes under Tim’s touch, and Tim chuckles.

“Good pup,” he purrs before immediately biting his tongue at his own betrayal. If it seems off to Jason, though, he doesn’t acknowledge it. Forcing himself to relax, Tim keeps going with the gentle scratches until Jason finally starts to list forward, his cheek coming down to rest on Tim’s thigh.

His treacherous dick twitches again at the proximity.

Tim lets his mounting frustration over his inability to control his body distract him from what happens next, and he jumps, letting out an undignified squeak when Jason mouths at the bulge in his pants. His grip tightens in Jason’s hair a moment later, and he tugs the sub back. Jason makes a noise that’s part-mournful and part-afraid, and Tim lets go of him immediately, putting his hands down against the couch-cushions on either side of himself.

“Jay,” he says, a little higher than he’d like. He clears his throat and tries again.

“Jason,” he says. “Darling, no. I’m sorry. You don’t have to do that.”

Jason’s gaze shifts warily from Tim’s face, to his lap, to his hands, and then back up to his face. His brow furrows, as if in confusion, for a long moment before his face just _falls_. Tears well in his eyes as he whines, and Tim swears softly, his hands immediately moving out to cup Jason’s face.

“Oh, Jay, sweetheart, no. Shh,” he babbles, one thumb brushing gently beneath Jason’s eye. “Shh, I’m not rejecting you, darling.” Because what else could have Jason responding in such a way besides that belief? Jason’s such a good sub, and he’s noticed something that his Dom wants and is being prevented from providing it. Of course it must feel like rejection. _Dammit._

“Jason,” Tim says, feeling a little helpless. What is he supposed to say? _Trust me, Jay, I would_ love _for you to suck my dick, I just don’t think it’s a good idea right now?_ Yeah, _right._ Not happening.

He takes a deep breath as Jason whines again, trembling under Tim’s hands, and then lets it out slowly.

If not rejection, then Jason probably thinks he’s going to be punished for acting out of line, and, God, that’s _worse._

“Jason,” he repeats, “you aren’t in trouble. You’re being so good for me.” Jason makes a disagreeing noise, and Tim frowns. “Yes, you are. You’re so good, paying such good attention to me. I didn’t mean to confuse you, darling. I understand why you did what you did, but you didn’t need to.”

God, Jason just looks so _confused_. So confused, and sad, and put-out. Tim can’t help thinking, just for a moment, about the way those now-pouting lips had felt around his fingers.

Was that… on purpose? Was Jason _trying_ to turn him on?

No. That’s the stupidest thing he’s ever thought.

Jason is just extra-sensitive to rejection right now; it’s not because he actually _wanted_ to– 

Tim sighs.

“You’re so sweet for wanting to help, Jay,” he murmurs, “but I don’t want you to ever do anything like that–” Jason lets out a sharp whine of distress at that, and Tim frowns.

“–unless we’ve talked about it beforehand,” he finishes. Jason’s eyes widen slightly at that, something that looks almost like _hope_ sparking in them, and something catches in Tim’s throat, making his breathing stutter.

Maybe… Maybe it’s not such a stupid idea after all.

Jason’s been avoiding him, and based on the way he nearly dropped earlier, Tim is going to hazard a guess that Jason hasn’t been seeing someone else after all. Jason was… teasing him, making _advances_ on him, and he seems _upset_ to have been denied. _Rejected_.

Has Jason been avoiding him, not because he sensed Tim’s feelings for him, but because he’d developed his own for _Tim?_ Has Jason been afraid of making advances like this? Had he stopped trusting himself to go down without doing something like this?

Holy shit.

“Oh, _Jay_ ,” Tim murmurs as he drops his hands away from the older man’s face and starts to shift on the couch, putting his back to the armrest. “Come up here, darling. I want to cuddle my good boy for a while.”

Jason practically scrambles to obey, climbing up onto the couch and draping himself across Tim’s body. He slots one leg between both of Tim’s as he leans in to rest his face against Tim’s belly, and it takes a moment for Tim to realise what he’s feeling when Jason’s own erection presses against him.

Holy shit. Could his new theory really be right?

“Good boy,” he praises, barely hearing himself over the sound of blood rushing in his ears. He curls the fingers of one hand into Jason’s hair as his other hand settles on the sub’s back and starts to rub slow circles against his shoulder blades. “Relax, darling. You can sleep this off for me, can’t you, Jay? We’ll talk when you come back up for me.”

Jason hums in acknowledgement, his weight settling more fully over Tim as he allows himself to fully relax.

“That’s it,” Tim encourages softly. “Such a good boy, Jay. Just relax for me now, darling. I’ve got you.”

It doesn’t take long before Jason’s breathing starts to even out as the sub drifts off to sleep, but Tim stays put, still touching him gently as he looks down at the man in his arms and, for once, lets himself _hope._

* * *

Jason wakes up slowly, lulled by the soft rise and fall of the belly beneath his head and the fingers toying with his hair. The scent of Tim’s cologne is strong in the air around him, and it eases any concern he might have felt at waking up with someone else. He doesn’t pretend to be asleep still, knowing Tim wouldn’t be fooled, but Jason allows himself a few more moments to revel in the younger man’s presence before he forces himself to move. Tim isn’t his to lounge over all day, after all.

Finally, Jason gives a soft sigh and opens his eyes as he pushes himself up and then reaches his arms above him to stretch his sleep-heavy muscles. When he finally looks over at Tim, the Dom is smiling at him, his eyes so full of tenderness that it makes Jason pause, his mind working overdrive to figure out what he did to earn such an expression. His own eyes widen in horror as the events of his down come back to him, his mouth opening automatically to start spilling apologies.

Before he can, however, Tim reaches out and places a finger over his lips, and Jason lets himself go a little cross-eyed to look down at it.

“I don’t want to hear a word of apology, Jason,” Tim tells him, and Jason’s brow furrows as he forces himself to look away from the tip of Tim’s finger to focus on his face instead. The younger man’s smile is still there and still so soft. There’s not an ounce of anger visible in his features or in the way he’s holding himself, and Jason lets out a confused whine without meaning to. It makes Tim move to cup his cheek in the palm of his hand instead as he shifts on the couch, curling his knees underneath him and inching closer to Jason.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Jay,” he says, ignoring Jason’s noise of protest to continue, “and I’m not upset.” Something in his expression does change then, twisting into something a little more vulnerable. “Actually, I-”

He hesitates for a moment, like he’s debating on saying something, and then shakes his head.

“But can you please explain what happened?” Tim asks, and Jason suspects it’s not what he intended to say originally. “I just… I’d like to know if you really meant it, or if it was just something that happened.”

Jason blinks at him dumbly, red spreading across his cheeks at being caught-out like this. Fuck. _Fuck_. What is he supposed to say? _Yes, Tim, I’ve been thinking about having dynamic sex with you for months._ Yeah. _Right_. That would go over so well.

He pulls back slowly, letting Tim’s hand fall away from his cheek, and then he gets up off of the couch.

“Jason?” Tim asks, and the wariness in his voice makes Jason’s chest ache.

“Look, Tim,” Jason starts as he moves to busy himself with collecting the dishes from their service and taking them to the kitchen. Unfortunately, Tim gets up as well and trails after him. “I. I don’t know, okay? It just happened. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”

He drops the dishes into the sink and turns back around, shrinking a little under the intensity of the look Tim is giving him.

“Okay,” he says slowly, and Jason braces himself for whatever is coming next, “but you knew it might happen.” Jason feels the colour drain from his face in an instant, and the corner of Tim’s lips twitch as if that was all the confirmation he’d needed. Jason reaches behind himself, his hands gripping the counter to steady himself as Tim takes another step closer. “It’s why you’ve been avoiding m- being put down.”

Jason shakes his head in denial, his grip on the counter tightening, and Tim stops his advance, leaving a few feet of space between them.

“I just,” Tim starts, and then pauses. “I just wanted to know if it was… a _me_ thing, or. Or if you’ve just been… If you’ve just been thinking about it, like. In general. You know, because you’re finally feeling safe about going down at all, and-”

“Tim,” Jason cuts in, even if he sounds a bit strangled. He knows what Tim looks like when he’s getting worked up about something, when he’s feeling self-conscious and uncertain, and the way he looks right now, with one arm around his own waist and the other crossed over his chest to hold his shoulder, with his gaze just a little to the left of Jason’s face… Well, that’s it. That’s the look.

But. Why?

Why would Tim be feeling self-conscious about this?

Then again, why wouldn’t he be? It would probably hurt so much worse to know that Jason… doing what he’d done meant nothing than if it had been on purpose, if he’d chosen Tim on purpose. And he _had_ , but. But was the awkwardness worth admitting that? Was it better to give one small blow to Tim’s self-esteem than to completely shake the foundation of their relationship?

But would they recover from it in the first place if Tim felt that Jason had just used him because he was there? Because he was _convenient?_

Fuck. There was no good answer here, was there?

Jason turns around abruptly, his shoulders tense as he grips the counter again and leaned forwards slightly, unable to face Tim right now.

“I-” He starts, then stops. He wets his lips and then swallows hard, the counter creaking slightly under the strength of his grip. “Both,” he says finally, surprising even himself. “It’s both.”

Tim makes a noise that Jason can’t quite interpret, but he ignores it in favour of forcing out the rest of his explanation. Because, more than anything else, Tim deserves the truth from him, even if it ruins everything.

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” he admits. “I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like, if I wanted it. And then I realised that I _do_ , I do want it. But. But not just with anyone. I want it with _you_ , but I can’t- But you don’t-” Jason shudders and swallows down the whine building in his throat. He hears Tim’s sharp inhale as the words penetrate his mind. “I was avoiding you so I wouldn’t do _that_ ,” he says vehemently. “So I wouldn’t put you in that situation. But I _still_ couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I was scared that I’d… That no matter who I went down for, I’d try… And I _couldn’t_ , Tim. How could I ever look at B or Dick or Steph or _anyone_ again, if I did _that_ ? I only called you because I was dropping, and I wanted _you_. I’m sorry.”

“Jason,” Tim says, sounding hoarse. He pauses, clearing his throat, and he sounds more firm when he tries again. “I thought I told you not to apologize.”

Jason shudders again, and this time, he can’t hold back his whine. It’s just that it had sounded so close to Tim’s Dom voice, and this hasn’t exactly been the most seamless come-up for him.

“S- _Tim_ ,” he says, and Tim’s hand settles on his shoulder, the heat of his body suddenly so present as Tim crowds up against him.

“Jason,” he says steadily, warm breath ghosting over the back of Jason’s neck. “Do you really not know?”

Jason’s head tilts slightly as his brow furrows, a noise of confusion slipping out of him. Tim lets out a quiet-yet-hysterical bubble of laughter and then tips his forehead against Jason’s back.

“You really don’t know,” he says, sounding a little awed. “Jason, I-” He sucks in a sharp breath and then lets it out before he steps back; Jason misses his warmth immediately. “Can you turn around for me, darling?”

Oh, that’s a dirty trick. Jason is powerless but to obey, turning around to face Tim, although he won’t make it that easy on the Dom. His gaze stays firmly downward, even when Tim reaches out to touch his cheek again.

“Jason,” he says quietly, “look at me.”

Jason tries not to obey, he really does, but it’s a fruitless effort. His gaze raises slowly, meeting Tim’s, and his breath catches in his throat at the _lovehopefear_ that he sees in the younger man’s eyes.

“Jason, you are _mine_ ,” he says, and Jason freezes, his eyes going wide as he holds his breath. “I know I shouldn’t think of you that way, but. But I do. I have for _so long_ , Jason. I want you in every way that you’ll let me have you. I always have, even when you were Robin and had no idea who I was. Even when you wanted me dead. I’ve loved you for damn-near my entire life.”

Jason sucks in a sharp breath then, coughing a little when he chokes on nothing but air, and Tim’s thumb brushes gently along his cheekbone as the younger man’s smile turns sad. Jason’s heart aches in response, because he never wants to see Tim look like that. Never wants to _be_ the reason Tim looks like that. But even as the ache sets in, something sparks to life inside him, too, because Tim just said that he loves him, and not like a brother or a friend.

He opens his mouth to speak, but no words seem prepared to come out, and Tim continues instead.

“But being a Dom you trusted, a Dom you knew you could count on to take care of you without taking advantage…” Tim shivers, and Jason wants to reach out, wants to comfort him, and so he does. He reaches up to hold onto Tim’s wrist, grounding him even as he presses his cheek more firmly into Tim’s palm. “I couldn’t let you _know_. I couldn’t take this one safe place away from you. I never wanted you to doubt my intentions or worry that I would hurt you, and I was… _afraid_ that you might let me, if you knew. That you might think you owed it to me. How could I live with myself if I made you feel that way, Jason?”

Jason wants to deny it, to tell Tim that it was a baseless fear. To be _angry_ that Tim could keep this from him, except– 

Except it’s not so baseless, is it? Tim is right. If Tim had tried anything, Jason might have let it happen, if he was already down, and if he found out when he wasn’t, it would have made things awkward. He would have been too afraid to go to Tim when he needed to be put down. He would have lost everything that they had between them before he even had the chance to realise he felt the same way.

“So, no, Jason, you don’t need to apologize for what happened earlier, or for how you feel, because,” Tim hesitates, a shaky smile curling his lips even as the fear and anxiety in his eyes grows, “because I feel the same. Because I love you, Jason Todd, and I would be- I would be _honoured_ to meet this need for you, too. To be the person you trust enough to try this with. I-”

Jason surges forward, cutting Tim off with his own mouth as their lips meet. It takes a moment for Tim to catch up to what’s happening, but when he does, he kisses Jason back with more intensity than Jason thinks he’s ever felt before. Tim’s hands curl into the material of his shirt, dragging him closer, and Jason cups Tim’s cheeks, holding him up as the younger man shifts onto the tips of his toes to get closer.

It’s like no other kiss Jason has ever been party to. He’s sure that he can feel the heat of it down to his toes, his mind whiting out as he lets Tim’s tongue plunder his mouth. He would be embarrassed by the whine that leaves him when they finally part, except he would have to have enough brainpower for shame to do that.

“Ask me,” Tim says breathlessly before he presses another kiss to Jason’s lips. His grip on Jason’s shirt tightens and he pushes forward, backing Jason up against the counter. He looks up at him desperately, so much heat in his gaze, and then nips at Jason’s jaw.

“Ask me, Jason,” he repeats, and Jason groans as he drags curled fingers down Tim’s back, scratching at him through his shirt.

“Will you put me down,” Jason gasps, his throat bobbing as Tim’s teeth graze over his jaw again, “and then have sex with me?”

Time feels frozen for a long moment after Jason finishes speaking. Panic, and hope, and fear all well up in his chest, waiting for the other foot to drop. Waiting for Tim to say this was all an elaborate prank, revenge for Jason putting him in this position to begin with, but then Tim lets out a hiss of breath and surges forward again, his hands moving to hold Jason’s hips as he presses up on his tiptoes and lets himself speak right into Jason’s ear.

_“Yes.”_

Jason whimpers and turns his head, catching Tim in another heated kiss as he lifts the younger man and moves to set him down on the island. Tim’s legs wind around him, keeping him held close, and Jason groans at the feeling of warm hands sliding up under the back of his shirt. His cock twitches as it stiffens and he grinds forward against Tim desperately until the younger man pulls back and starts trailing wet kisses down Jason’s neck.

“Not yet,” he gasps between kisses. “I want to make it special, darling. We can do it just like this for now, hm?”

Jason wants to protest, wants to tell Tim that he’s ready _now_ , that there’s no need to wait, but he can’t deny that it makes butterflies flutter in his stomach that Tim wants to do things _right_ , that he wants to take his time and plan things out, wants to decide exactly how he wants to take Jason apart and put him back together. He shudders as his cock twitches again, and Jason manages a jerky nod even as he starts to fumble with the buttons of Tim’s shirt.

“Yes, Sir,” he says, only half-teasing. “Just. Please. Can we- _Something._ _Please._ ”

Tim groans at that and pulls back, helping Jason get him out of his shirt, and then he does the same for Jason, dragging his top off over his head and letting it fall carelessly onto the kitchen floor.

“Yes,” he promises as he draws Jason back in, both of them exploring the other’s torso eagerly with hands and lips and tongues. “I’ve got you, Jay.”

Jason keens softly as he finally kisses Tim again, and he moans into it as Tim’s teeth rake over his tongue and Tim’s hands reach down to grope at his ass. He pushes back into them for a moment before he grinds forward instead, letting Tim feel the hardness in his pants. And feel it he must, if Tim’s responding groan is any indication. A moment later, his hands are slipping down into the back of Jason’s pants, down under the waistband of his boxers too, and Jason shivers at the feeling of skin on skin as Tim gropes his ass once more.

He breaks away from their kiss and licks his way down to the dip where Tim’s neck meets his shoulder, and then Jason bites down against the delicate skin he finds there, holding it between his teeth as he sucks a mark onto Tim so that everyone will _know_ that Tim is taken. So that everyone will know that Tim is _his_.

Tim swears softly, but the huskiness to his tone indicates pleasure over pain, and Jason clamps down a little harder as he sucks and laves his tongue over Tim’s skin. Tim’s hips roll against his own as the grip on his ass forces him forwards, and Jason’s teeth release as he lets out a sharp gasp at the feeling of Tim’s own erection meeting his.

“F-fuck,” he gasps as he drops his hands to Tim’s waist and starts to undo the younger man’s belt and the button and fly of his dresspants. Tim groans at the release of pressure as Jason parts the material enough for Tim’s erection to poke out through the v of the parted fly. There’s already a small damp patch starting to form on Tim’s underwear, and Jason feels his mouth water and his knees shake.

Shit, he knew he enjoyed going down on the people he’s slept with in recent memory, but it’s never been like _this_ , and he wonders hysterically if maybe he’s not entirely up right now after all.

Or maybe it’s just because it’s _Tim_. Because he’s wanted this – and thought that he couldn’t have it – for so, so long now.

His hand moves to cup Tim’s cock as if on autopilot, his heel grinding down to provide friction, and Tim gasps, his nails biting into Jason’s buttocks in response.

“Fuck, _Jay,_ ” Tim groans, and Jason wets his lips as he glances down. His knees tremble again, but then Tim’s legs tighten around him.

“No,” he says, and Jason shivers as his cock throbs at the commanding tone of voice. “Not tonight, pet,” he continues, and then one of his hands is leaving Jason’s ass in order to lift Jason’s palm off of his cock. He guides Jason’s hand to his hip, instead, and Jason grabs on desperately. After a moment, he brings the other hand down from where it had been stroking Tim’s abs to grab his other hip.

“That’s it,” Tim encourages. “Good boy.” The words seem to drip from his lips effortlessly, and Jason moans more from that than from the way Tim goes back to groping his ass with both hands. “C’mon, darling,” he prompts, and Jason tightens his grip on Tim’s hips and starts rutting forwards, rubbing their cocks together through the fabric of their clothing.

Tim’s fingers knead at the firm muscles of his butt as Jason lets himself get lost in the frantic movement of humping Tim. He thinks he should be embarrassed by how much he feels like a teenager right now, a teenager he never really got to be. It was never really like this, with Kyle, or Rose, or Roy, or Kori, or Isabelle. Not that it hadn’t been desperate, at times. But it hadn’t been this sort of frantic search for release with their clothing still on. It had always been a little more purposeful, a little more _pointed_.

Now, he just feels frenzied, like there’s nothing more important than rubbing off against Tim and getting them both off, than chasing this mounting pleasure and providing Tim with the same.

He gives in easily when Tim kisses him again, surrendering his own ground to the intensity of Tim’s kiss, to his biting teeth and probing tongue. Pleasure continues to mount until it reaches a crescendo, crashing over him as Tim’s hips buck against his own, as Tim’s body pulls taught and he breaks from the kiss to moan. Jason keeps grinding desperately against the younger man as Tim’s cock twitches and spills, dampness spreading across the front of his underwear as he comes.

Jason bites down hard on his bottom lip as he grips Tim’s hips hard enough to bruise and grinds forward two, three, four more times before his own orgasm hits, leaving him rutting frantically against Tim’s wet underwear as he comes hard in his own. He gasps and squeezes his eyes shut, falling forward against Tim’s chest as his ears ring. Strong arms move to wrap around his back and shoulders, holding him steady and keeping him from pushing Tim down to be crushed under his not inconsiderable weight.

For a few long, dizzying moments, Jason lets himself revel in the safety of Tim’s hold as he comes down. He breathes in the younger man’s scent mingled with the musky smell of sex in the air and, eventually, forces his eyes open again. He takes another deep breath before straightening, and Tim’s arms loosen before dropping to stay wrapped around his waist.

Tim’s smile is blinding when Jason finally looks at him, and he feels his own lips curling into a bright grin in response, even as he feels heat spreading across his face and down his neck.

“I-”

 _“Beautiful,”_ Tim breathes out, and Jason’s blush only darkens. “Fuck, Jason…” Tim’s arms and legs tighten around him slightly, almost as if he’s trying to pull Jason close enough to absorb him into his own body. “That was perfect, darling,” he says, and Jason lets out a low whimper.

“Fuck,” he murmurs, and then he leans in to peck a kiss against Tim’s lips. “Stay?” he asks as he pulls back. “I’ll make dinner before patrol,” he adds.

Tim chuckles and presses forward to reciprocate the kiss.

“As if I was planning on going anywhere.”

Jason grins and steals one last kiss, and then he glances down. He bites his lip for a moment before looking up at Tim again.

“You can take first shower,” he offers, and the way Tim’s eyes darken makes him shudder. The younger man opens his mouth to speak, but Jason cuts him off. “Not this time,” he says. “I’d rather not have our first time be a slip-and-fall risk.”

Tim huffs out a laugh and shakes his head.

“Alright, alright,” he concedes. “Next time.”

There’s so much promise in his tone that Jason can’t help the shiver that runs down his spine.

“Yes, Sir,” he replies, only mildly annoyed when it comes out more subdued than teasing.

Tim’s hands move to his chest, fingers spread wide as he gropes Jason’s pectorals and leans in for one last, lingering kiss. Teeth drag at Jason’s bottom lip when he finally pulls back, and he groans as his cock twitches with renewed interest. Before he can comment, though, Tim unwinds his legs and pushes at Jason’s chest, nudging him backwards so that he can smoothly slide off of the island counter.

He smirks, the expression only intensifying when Jason scowls weakly at him.

“Offer’s still open,” Tim says, and Jason rolls his eyes and then steps back before bending down to collect their discarded shirts.

“Get,” he says, shooing Tim away with the fabric once he straightens up. “I _would_ like to sleep before patrol, you know.”

Tim grins and dances away, out of the reach of the shirts when Jason snaps them towards him again.

“Alright, I’m going,” he says. “Brat.”

It’s Jason’s turn to smirk, then, and Tim’s eyes twinkle knowingly before he turns and heads down the hall towards the bathroom. Jason leans against the island, watching him go, and dares to hope that this is something he can keep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Thank you for your patience in waiting for Chapter 2; I know it's a few days late. I'm just glad I made it before my second deadline, because, holy Hell, this chapter is a beast. It just kept growing and growing, but I think I'm overall happy with it.
> 
> I do want to give a few minor trigger warnings for this chapter before people dive in, though. Although Jason never goes into subdrop, there are a few near misses and a few mild panic attacks and one that's probably more moderate than mild. There are also a few very brief 'flashbacks', which contain content relating to non-con, underage sex, rough sex, and threats of bodily harm. They're all very brief and it's more the reaction that's lingered on than the flashback themselves. If you think you'd like more information before reading, please don't hesitate to drop a comment or reach out to me on [tumblr](https://atasteforsuicidal.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/xavierurban69) first.

It’s a few days before they really have the chance to talk about it, and Tim is sure that he’s losing his mind with mixed anxiety and anticipation. They’ve been in contact enough to know that this isn’t an intentional distance, at least. Casework is keeping them both busy, is all. And work-work is keeping Tim even busier besides.

But, finally, he’s been able to convince Tam to clear his afternoon and evening, and Tim made sure to thank her profusely before he’d slipped out of the office.

He’s not expecting tonight to be “the night,” but he still finds himself feeling nervous as he reaches the door to Jason’s safehouse. He’d considered inviting Jason over, but in the end, Tim decided that this was a conversation that should be had somewhere that Jason would be more comfortable. For the same reason, Tim is already planning for their first scene to be here, too.

Not that that’s the part of his planning that he’s been _really_ focused on, even though he knows that they need to talk about a lot of things before he starts setting anything in stone. Still, it’s been impossible _not_ to think about what they could do, and Tim has gotten reacquainted with his hand in a frequency he hasn’t seen since he was a teenager with how often his mind has strayed to thoughts of having sex with Jason.

Even now, he can feel his arousal stirring as he keys in his security codes and leans in for the retinal scan. He thinks giddily, as he opens the door and steps inside, about what it would be like to come home to Jason every night. To come home to his beautiful, perfect sub waiting for him, kneeling at the door or lying naked in wait on their bed.

But that’s getting ahead of himself. So, so far ahead of himself.

“Honey, I’m home,” he calls out as he slips his shoes off, and he grins at the aggrieved sigh that greets him from the kitchen. He follows the sound and steps up behind Jason when he finds him at the sink, his arms winding around the sub’s waist as he leans up to press a kiss to the back of Jason’s neck.

Jason flicks suds at him over his shoulder, and then he turns around to kiss the pout off of Tim’s lips.

“You’re early,” he says petulantly, and Tim raises a brow. “The lasagne’s still in the oven.”

Tim leans in to steal another kiss, his hands moving to grip Jason’s hips as he presses forward to deepen in. Jason gives a low whimper in response, and Tim licks into his mouth eagerly as the sub’s wet hands come up to clutch at his shoulders.

“I think I can keep us occupied until it’s ready,” he says when he finally breaks the kiss, and Jason hums before he leans in to peck Tim’s lips. Then, he pushes Tim away and turns back to the dishes.

“You can start by setting the table,” he says with a haughty sniff, and Tim chuckles.

“Yes, dear.”

Jason snorts and looks over his shoulder pointedly, and Tim heaves an exaggerated sigh before he moves over to the cupboard to start getting out the tableware.

By the time he’s finished with the place settings, Jason is drying off his hands on the dish towel as the sink drains. He hangs the cloth back up on the stove railing when he’s done and then moves over to the fridge where he retrieved a bottle of wine.

Tim raises an eyebrow at him and then doubles back to the cupboard to pull out more appropriate glasses than the glass tumblers he’d chosen. Jason gives him an approving smile when they meet at the table, and Tim can’t stop himself from leaning in to steal another kiss. The sub indulges him for a few moments, but they separate when the timer on the oven goes off.

Tim surveilles the table as Jason takes the lasagne out of the oven, and he finds himself chuckling.

“Got any candles lying around?” he asks teasingly, his smile widening when Jason rolls his eyes as he brings the casserole dish out to place it on the table. He nudges Tim out of the way with his hip, and Tim feels an unexplained warmth rising inside him.

Or maybe it’s not so unexplained, really. Maybe it’s as simple as this: he and Jason, like this, feels _natural_. Nothing about this moment feels forced or strained the way it has with previous romantic partners.

“Don’t push your luck,” Jason grumbles, but when he turns to look at Tim, a blush spreads across his cheeks a moment before his eyes narrow. “What?”

Tim shakes his head, but it only makes Jason scowl more.

“Nothing,” Tim insists, his hands lifting in a show of innocence. “This is all just very domestic.” He can feel his own cheeks heating up as he adds, “I like it.”

Jason’s blush darkens as he looks away and clears his throat. “Yeah, well,” he mutters as he turns back to the kitchen and moves to put a tray of garlic bread into the oven. “Maybe I just know the only way you’re going to eat is if I put a meal in front of you.”

Tim huffs out a laugh and walks over to the sub, pausing in front of him and loosely wrapping his arms around Jason’s waist.

“Aww,” he coos, “you’re so good to me, Jay.”

He can see Jason try to frown, but the corners of his lips keep twitching back up until Jason finally gives in and a reluctant grin curls his lips. It doesn’t last long, of course, because Tim just has to lean in and kiss it right off of his face.

Because he can do that now.

And he plans to do it forever. Honestly, Tim doesn’t think the novelty of being able to kiss Jason whenever he wants is ever going to wear off. Not doing it when they ran into one another on patrol the night before had felt like torture, but Damian had been there, too, and, well. Seeings as how they haven’t really had much of a chance to talk about… whatever this is yet, it seemed like they were both in agreement that inviting anyone from the family’s opinion only spelled trouble.

Damian’s haughty (read: worried) _‘nice to see your head back in the game, Hood,’_ had been more than enough outsider input for now.

Tim hums as they break apart to breath, and he slips his hands up under the hem of Jason’s shirt to rest on his back. “Maybe we should get you a nice apron, hm?” he asks, eyes bright with mirth as Jason blushes. “What d’you think, darling? Am I gonna come home to a sweet little house sub one of these days?”

Jason tries to hold back his whine, but Tim still hears it, and his smile grows even as Jason tries to distract him with another kiss. He’s teasing, sure, but only insofar as the fact that he doesn’t _intend_ to stick Jason in that kind of role. If Jason gravitates towards it naturally, though…

Well, Tim certainly isn’t going to be put-off by it.

At all.

He lets Jason get away with his distraction, though, and it’s easy to lose track of time as they stand there making out. It’s only the oven timer going off again that makes them separate, and Jason hands Tim a spatula and a knife and shoos him back to the table as he takes the tray of toast out of the oven and then turns it off.

“It should be done setting,” Jason calls after him. “Go ahead and cut it.”

“Sure you trust me?” Tim jokes as he starts cutting into the pasta, dividing it into several squares. “Alfie doesn’t.”

“That’s because Alfie let you cut the brownies once, and you made the middle nearly twice the size of the sides.”

Tim pauses and glances back to see Jason transferring the garlic bread over into a basket. “I did that on purpose,” he says as he turns back to their dinner and sets the knife aside.

“I know.” Jason steps in next to him a moment later, leaving the basket just down from the lasagne dish. Then he leans in and pecks Tim on the cheek. “That’s why I trust you not to do it now.”

Rolling his eyes, Tim grins down at the table as he takes the first plate Jason hands him and scoops one of the squares of pasta onto it. He trades for an empty plate and does the same, and then he moves to sit down at the seat adjacent to the head of the table, where Jason’s own place setting is.

Jason disappears back into the kitchen for a moment before returning with a corkscrew, and Tim props his chin on his hand as he watches Jason open and pour the wine.

“Elbows off the table, you heathen,” Jason scolds, and Tim rolls his eyes but obeys, reaching for his freshly-poured wine, instead. “Thank you.”

“Thank _you_ ,” Tim counters, and Jason blushes and looks away when Tim fixes his attention back on the sub. “No, I mean it. This looks and smells _amazing_ , Jason. You know we could have ordered pizza or had, like, canned soup and grilled cheeses, and I still would have been happy just to share a meal with you, right?”

Jason doesn’t look over at him as he sits down, but Tim can still see how red his cheeks are. He reaches for the sub’s hand and covers it with his own, squeezing it gently until Jason finally looks up.

“Seriously, Jay,” he insists, “thank you. I appreciate the effort.”

Jason licks his lips and looks away briefly, and then he clears his throat and looks back at Tim, an almost-convincing cocky smirk on his face.

“Don’t thank me yet,” he says. “You haven’t even seen what’s for dessert.”

Tim waggles his brows at that, ducking his head when Jason reaches out to give him a playful tap upside the head.

“Mind out of the gutter at the dinner table, _dear_.”

Tim couldn’t keep the grin off his face, even if he tried. He feels light. Giddy, even. Adding alcohol to that might not be the wisest choice, but Tim raises his glass anyway and gives Jason a pointed look. Jason concedes after a moment, rolling his eyes as he picks up his own glass and lets Tim clink them together.

“To domestic bliss and minds in the gutter,” he says playfully, and Jason huffs out a laugh, but he still takes a few sips before setting it down and reaching for his fork. Tim does the same, and he’d be embarrassed by the noise he lets out when he finally tries the lasagne, but he’s pretty sure that the look on Jason’s face means he’s pleased with the display.

“You might have to tell Alfie you’re coming for his crown,” he says after he swallows, and Jason ducks his head as his lips curl into a small smile.

There isn’t a lot of talking as they eat, and Tim supposes it’s a pretty equal mix of the food being too damn good to ignore and the fact that they’ve got plenty of talking ahead of them as it is. It’s a comfortable kind of quiet between them, though. Tim doesn’t find himself with the overwhelming need to just blurt things out to fill it, and it’s honestly a little bit of a novelty.

If this is meant to fall into “first date” territory, well. It’s by far the most natural one Tim’s ever had.

He just hopes it will still feel that way after dinner is done.

* * *

Dessert, it turns out, is a chilled Caramel Tiramisu Mousse Cake, and Jason was right to be cocky about it. They move to the couch to eat it, Jason kneeling contentedly between Tim's legs and letting the Dom feed him small forkfuls of it, and it's honestly one of the best things Tim has ever tasted.

And Tim has eaten a _lot_ of tiramisu in his lifetime, okay. It's his favourite dessert for a reason. Which isn't a secret by any means, but he's still touched that Jason would go out of his way to know what Tim likes and then make something to his tastes. He only hopes that Jason wasn't motivated by trying to prove his value or something, because Tim's mind is already made up; Jason doesn't need to impress him.

They sit in silence for a short while after they’ve finished eating, and Tim plays absently with Jason’s hair as the sub rests his cheek against the inside of Tim’s thigh. Eventually, Tim lets his fingertips trail down to the back of Jason’s neck, and he smiles to himself when it makes the older man shiver.

“Jay,” he says gently, “do you think we can talk now?”

Jason gives a low hum, and Tim takes it as agreement. Still gently teasing down Jason’s neck to the top of his spine, Tim gives a thoughtful hum of his own, deciding where to start. Finally, he speaks.

“I think we should start with the basics,” he says, pausing in case Jason wants to interject. When he doesn’t, Tim continues. “Do you want to fuck me?” he asks, his lips twitching at the hitched breath Jason takes in. “Do you want me to tell you how to do it, instruct you to fuck me just the way I like it?” Slowly, Tim drags his fingers back up into Jason’s hair, massaging gently at the sub’s scalp. “Or maybe you want me to ride you, hm? You want me to hold you down and please myself on your cock, darling? Want me to treat it like a toy?”

Jason whines at that, a low, thready sound, and Tim chuckles as he watches Jason nuzzle against his thigh. His grip tightens after a moment, curling into Jason’s hair, and he tugs sharply, pulling Jason’s head back so that he has to look up at Tim. The flush on his cheeks is stunning, and the way that his lips part around another whine makes Tim’s cock twitch in his pants.

“Or maybe you want _me_ to fuck _you_ ,” Tim comments, his gaze steady on Jason’s face. Jason shivers at that, his throat bobbing as he swallows hard only to then part his lips again on a ragged breath. Tim hums and reaches out with his other hand. He brushes his knuckles gently over Jason’s burning cheek before he opens his palm to cup the sub’s face. His thumb rests against Jason’s plush lower lip, tugging it down just the slightest bit. “That’s the one, isn’t it?” he asks, and then when he doesn’t get a response, he prompts, “Jason?”

Jason wets his lips, the tip of his tongue touching the pad of Tim’s thumb before retreating, and Tim’s cock stirs once more. “This time,” he says finally, a little bit breathless but far steadier than Tim was expecting. “We can… The other ways, _every_ way, later, but… Please, Tim. I do, I want you to fuck me first.”

Tim’s thumb brushes over Jason’s bottom lip for a moment, and then he curls his hand, his grip sliding to Jason’s chin from his cheek. He tugs the sub closer as he leans forward himself, and Tim presses a chaste kiss to his lips before sitting back properly.

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” he states, and Jason’s eyes flutter closed for a moment with what Tim suspects to be relief. That won’t do for long; Tim doesn’t want Jason to ever have to doubt that Tim will give him what he needs. Hopefully he’ll learn that quickly once they really get started. He lets go of Jason’s chin and reaches up to gently brush his hair off of his forehead, to smooth the pad of his thumb over one of Jason’s eyebrows.

“Believe me, pet,” he murmurs, “it’s going to be my pleasure.”

Jason makes a low, strangled noise in the back of his throat, and Tim chuckles.

“There’s no need to be shy, darling,” he says, and Jason’s cheeks darken even as he slits his eyes open to look at Tim. “I need to know everything, Jay. Everything you like, everything you don’t. You can’t hold anything back, do you understand?”

Jason’s eyes open a little wider, allowing Tim to see the seriousness settling into his gaze as he gives a short nod.

“Yes, Sir,” he agrees, and Tim smiles.

“Good boy,” he praises, and Jason melts back towards him, his chin settling on Tim’s knee so that he can still look up at him. Tim’s fingers card through his hair one last time before he rests his hand across the back of Jason’s neck, squeezing gently.

“Will you face me?” Jason asks after a few seconds have passed, his voice hushed, “at least… at least the first time?”

Tim feels like he can’t breathe for a moment, the vulnerability on Jason’s face trapping the air in his lungs until he finally deflates, letting it all out in one long exhale.

“Of course,” he agrees, and with his hand on Jason’s neck, he can feel the way tension releases from the sub’s muscles. “Did you think I wouldn’t want to see you? That I’d want to miss the way you look when you’re flushed and dazed and begging for more of my cock?”

Jason whines, and Tim isn’t sure if it’s arousal, embarrassment, or both as the older man turns to hide his face against Tim’s thigh once more. Tim just chuckles and squeezes the back of his neck.

“I told you not to be shy, Jason,” he reminds him. “If you’ll let me, I would _love_ to bend you over the counter, or the couch, or my desk, but, Jay, darling, of course I want to see you the first time.” Jason shudders against him, warm breath fanning out over Tim’s thigh and warming him through the material of his slacks, and Tim hums quietly and reaches up to loosen his tie.

God, they’ve barely started, and he’s already feeling uncomfortably warm.

The plan isn’t even to do this tonight, he knows, although Tim can’t help hoping that Jason is still up enough by the end of this conversation for them to fool around a bit like they did last time.

“Tell me what else,” he says eventually, once it’s clear that Jason isn’t going to offer anything further unprompted.

“Want t’see you, too,” he mumbles. “No blindfolds or earplugs right now. Eventually, though.”

“Okay,” Tim agrees, his thumb beginning to slowly sweep back and forth across Jason’s skin, “we only have to talk about right now, Jay, not forever. You’re not going to upset me by saying you don’t want something.” Jason gives a noncommittal hum in response to that, and Tim frowns and squeezes Jason’s neck again. “I mean it, Jason,” he says as he shifts slightly in his seat. “Look at me.” He waits until Jason obeys to add, “you don’t have to justify anything to me, or try to compromise by saying you’ll be okay with something else later. Just tell me what’s going to be okay this first time.”

Jason looks at him for a long, long moment, and Tim stares back, hoping that Jason can read the sincerity behind his words. Hoping that Jason will believe him, _trust_ him. Finally, Jason’s gaze lowers and he nods.

“Okay,” he whispers. And then, “thank you.”

It hurts more than Tim would have expected, hearing Jason thank him for what should be common decency. But, then, there’s a reason Jason is thirty-one and only now beginning to open up this part of himself. He’s drawing on a mix of consensual, non-dynamic sex and _non-consensual_ dynamic sex, and it makes sense that it means his expectations are skewed. The fact that he’s chosen Tim to be the one to help him navigate what are sure to be chaotic, dangerous waters is one of the highest honours Tim has ever had bestowed upon him.

Yes, it’s going to hurt to see the evidence of Jason’s fear and suffering, but it’s the very least he can do to help Jason finally move on from it.

Feeling sobered, Tim gently eases Jason’s cheek back down to his thigh and asks, “what else?”

“Not too much pain,” Jason mumbles, a guilty expression crossing his face. Tim tries not to sigh at that, because he knows Jason would take it wrong. It’s no secret that Tim can be a bit of a sadist, but he wasn’t exactly expecting to dive straight into anything like that with Jason anyway, if they get there at all. He’s not disappointed in Jason’s request, only with the way the sub looks like he’s expecting to be fought on it.

“I’m not going to hurt you without a much longer conversation first,” Tim promises him easily, and Jason frowns.

“You can, a little,” he counters, and Tim raises an eyebrow at him. “You can. Um. I’d like it if, if you spanked me. Just. Only with your hand. Not… Especially not a belt.”

Tim lets out a sharp breath like he’s just been sucker-punched, and he shakes his head sharply.

“No,” he says. “I’m never going to belt you, Jason. Or cane you.” He doesn’t mean to say the last part, but now that he’s thinking about it, he can’t _stop_. Beating Jason with a cane, or, hell, his bo-staff, or anything like that… Tim nearly flinches at the thought, and _he’s_ not the one who was actually beaten to death. He can only imagine that a belt draws on even earlier trauma, perhaps from Jason’s time with his biological father.

 _“Never,”_ he says again, looking down at Jason with a fierceness that makes Jason’s lips part and his eyes water. He closes his mouth and swallows hard before nodding, and Tim tries to ease some of the tension that has begun to pull at his shoulders. He takes a deep breath of his own and lets it out through his nose, and then Tim fixes a smirk on his face. “But if you want me to put you over my knee and spank you like a naughty little boy, then I’m more than happy to.”

Jason whimpers at that, shifting rather obviously, and Tim’s smirk grows. He moves the foot of the leg Jason isn’t leaning against between the sub’s leg and lifts the ball of his foot off the ground to rest against the hard length of Jason’s cock where it’s trapped in his jeans. Jason gives a strangled groan and bucks his hips up, pressing himself against Tim’s foot, and Tim chuckles as he presses down harder until Jason stills with another desperate noise.

“Keep talking, darling,” Tim tells him. “I want to hear what you want me to do to you.”

 _“Tim,”_ he whimpers, his head turning so that his face is smushed against Tim’s thigh, and Tim has half a mind to correct him, to tell him that it’s _Sir_ right now, but he’s supposed to be encouraging Jason to stay up. This isn’t the carefully planned and controlled first time they’re both working towards, after all.

But, God, it’s hard not to slip. Unlike Jason, Tim has _only_ been having dynamic sex for most of his sexual life. He has very little experience to draw on where he wasn’t dominating someone else, and that might be biting him in the ass now.

“Is this okay?” he asks, his foot lifting slightly, and Jason whines and presses forward again immediately.

“Please,” he gasps. “S’okay. Really. Please, I want to. Tim, _please_.”

Tim swears softly as he grinds the ball of his foot down once more and then leaves it there, his own cock straining uncomfortably as Jason’s pleas bounce around in his mind. As his own name in Jason’s voice, said like _that_ , replays over and over again.

“Fuck,” he swears again and reaches down to unzip his slacks and pop the button on them, giving himself a little relief, “keep going, Jay.”

“I like being choked,” Jason says, grunting slightly as he ruts against Tim’s foot. “Love giving head, Tim. Love when you fuck my throat, choke me on your dick.” Tim moans at that, his eyes falling to the column of Jason’s throat when Jason lifts his head to look up at him. “Keep me there as long as you want, gagging and drooling and messy. I love it.”

Tim’s sure it must be completely intentional when Jason’s tongue comes out to wet his lips then, making Tim’s cock jerk and leak eagerly in his underwear. He swears as he shoves his hand down inside them and wraps it around himself, the slide of it burning a little from friction and dryness as he starts to jerk himself off. He drags his thumb over the head, gathering up some of his precum, and spreads it over his length as best he can.

Jason watches his movements hungrily, his mouth parted with ragged breaths as he grinds against Tim’s foot.

“I can come just from that,” he says once he seems to have regained a little bit of his control, and Tim lets out a needy whine of his own at how goddamn hot that is, “but only if you let me.”

Tim gasps, squeezing himself a little tighter as his cock throbs. Oh _fuck_. Fuck, that’s such a hot mental image. Jason, his own cock hard and dripping as he chokes on Tim’s, humping at thin air for relief. Tears and drool making a mess of Jason’s face as it turns red from the way Tim is hammering down into his throat. Tim managing to choke out the order for Jason to come, to prove how much he loves Sir’s cock, and Jason _doing it_ , his cock spurting into the air and making a mess of the floor as Jason gets off on sucking his cock.

He keens sharply, his eyes shut tight as he humps into his own fist, and Jason’s voice wavers for a moment before the sub continues.

“I like when you make me hold it,” he says, breathless and strained, “when you make me so, so close to coming and then tell me to wait a little longer.” His movements stutter slightly, and Tim grinds his foot against Jason’s trapped cock once more, making him whimper. "I like when you make me so desperate for it that I have to beg, but you just keep making me take it."

"I, I, uhn," Jason stutters and gasps, his entire body shaking when Tim starts rubbing his foot up and down the imprint of Jason's cock underneath his pants. "You, you can play with my, ah, my tits. They get so, hn, so sensitive when you pull on them. Bite them. Ah, s-suck on 'em."

Tim swears as he starts stroking himself faster, and he watches as Jason's hands finally uncross and move from behind his back to grip at the material covering his own thighs.

Jason's eyes are heavily-lidded as he looks at Tim, and spots of bright red are dusting high across his cheekbones. Tim thinks he can feel a bit of dampness on the bottom of his sock from the way Jason's cock must be leaking enough precum to make it through the layers of their clothing.

"You have such nice tits, Jay," Tim compliments him, and that blush gets even brighter. "I can't wait to decorate them with a nice pair of clamps. Maybe I'll use a chain to connect them to your collar, hm?"

Jason gasps at that, his mouth staying open as he pants heavily, and Tim scrambles to get his pants and underwear shoved down enough to pull his cock out. Jason gives a needy whine at the sight, licking his lips again, and Tim has to grip himself tightly to keep from coming right then and there.

Jason lists towards him, and Tim reaches out with his other hand to grab Jason's hair and hold him back. His sub whines in protest, and Tim curls his lips into a sneer.

"Don't be greedy, pet," he says, and Jason whimpers again, eyelashes fluttering as a shudder runs through him.

"S- _Tim_ ," he moans, and Tim grunts as he goes back to jerking himself off, his cock aimed at Jason's face.

"Keep talking," he demands, and Jason gives a low whine.

"I want you to, to open me up nice and slow," he rasps, his gaze fixed on Tim’s hand where it's working over his dick. "Your fingers… Tim, fuck, please. Want them in me. They're so long, bet you can reach my prostate so easy. You c-could torture me with them–" Jason groans, beginning to rut faster against the sole of Tim's foot as it continues to rub his dick "–milk me until my cock is drooling and making a mess. Force me to come just from that before you even start opening me up, _ahh_."

Tim lifts his foot suddenly, pulling it away from Jason's reach to watch him hump the air, and the whine he lets out might be the best damn thing Tim has ever heard.

"N-no," he begs, "please. Tim, Sir, fuck. _Please_."

Tim groans at the feeling of his balls tightening and his abs pulling taught, jerking off faster as his climax crashes over him. He yanks Jason's face closer as he comes, thick ropes of it shooting over his face. Jason keens frantically and sticks his tongue out, catching what he can, and Tim moans at the sight.

"Fuck," he gasps. He keeps tugging at himself, forcing out every last drop of cum. "Fuck, Jay, darling. So good. Perfect boy. Fuck. That's it. God, you're so hot, darling."

Jason moans as drool starts to drip down his tongue and over his bottom lip, but still he keeps his tongue out until Tim is finished. When he finally pulls it back into his mouth, there's a little pool of white coating it, and Tim groans as he watches Jason's throat bob while he swallows.

Jason's fingers dig in tighter against his pantlegs as he whines, his hips still rocking forward against nothing.

"Please," he begs. "Please, Tim. Can I? I need, please. Pleasepleaseplease. Letmecome. Ple- _eease_."

Tim lets him beg a few moments longer, watching tears well up in Jason's eyes and start to drip down his cheeks as his pleas grow more and more incoherent. Finally, he takes pity on him and returns his foot to its former place between Jason's spread legs. Jason freezes, holding himself so still as he whines and looks up at Tim desperately.

He looks like someone looking at the face of their god: reverent, and hopeful, and desperate for guidance. For approval. Tim lets his expression soften, his grip on Jason's hair loosening.

"Go on then," he relents. "Show me how bad you want it. Hump my foot like a good little pet until I say you've had enough."

Jason gasps sharply and folds over immediately, curling forward around Tim's outstretched leg as he grinds frantically against the sole of his foot.

"Thank you," he moans between panting breaths. "Thank you. ThankyouthankyouTimpleasefuckpleaseplease."

Tim chuckles softly and strokes Jason's hair.

"That's it," he murmurs. "Good boy."

Jason sobs, the noise quivering out of him, and Tim watches him with rapt attention. He starts babbling again soon enough, and Tim lets him keep at it for a small eternity until Jason's movements are more stuttering than smooth, until his pleading veers more into sobbing.

"Alright," Tim says finally, his voice coaxing and gentle, "that's enough, pet. You've earned it. Go on and come for me, Jay. Show me how much you love getting off on Sir's foot."

Jason cries out sharply, his movements growing more and more sloppy as his shoulders tense. He seems to convulse as he curls tighter around Tim's leg, moaning long and loud as he comes. He sags against Tim when he finishes, his hips moving in slow, short little twitches as the aftershocks hit him.

Tim alternates between stroking his hair and massaging his scalp the whole time, and smiles to himself when Jason finally goes completely limp. He's shaking slightly as he catches his breath, and Tim gives a low hum when Jason presses into his touch.

"Good boy," he murmurs, and Jason whimpers quietly. "Easy, Jay. Easy now. You did so good, just relax, darling."

Tim plays with Jason’s hair a while longer, quiet praise dripping from his lips, not stopping until Jason’s breathing finally evens out into something steadier. Only then does Tim let go in order to tuck his now-soft dick back into his underwear and to do his pants back up.

When his hand returns to Jason’s hair, he tugs gently until the older man looks up at him through mostly-clear eyes.

“Hey,” Tim says, smiling gently. Jason meets it with a hesitant smile of his own even as heat rises in his cheeks. Tim hums, and he reaches out to brush strands of hair away from Jason’s sweaty brow. “Was that okay?”

Jason opens his mouth, but then he hesitates and closes it again. He nods, though, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as he holds Tim’s gaze. Tim frowns slightly and trails his knuckles down the side of Jason’s face before he cups the sub’s chin. His thumb taps at Jason’s lip before carefully freeing it from his teeth.

“Are you sure?”

Jason blinks at him a few times, slow and heavy, and then lets out a ragged breath that warms Tim’s hand.

“Yeah,” he finally says. “I’m sure. I wasn’t… I didn’t completely...”

“Go down?” Tim prompts, and Jason nods. A spark of relief ignites in Tim’s chest at the reassurance. “Good.”

He brushes his thumb over Jason’s bottom lip once more before withdrawing, his heart fluttering a little at the way Jason leans forward as if to follow him.

“Do you want to come up here and sit with me, Jay?” he asks, a part of him wanting to get his arms around the sub. Not that he has anything against Jason kneeling for him, because he certainly doesn’t. He’d have to be crazy to mind that. But it’s been a while, and even with his cushion, Jason’s knees are surely sore by now.

Jason looks hesitant and unsure, and Tim frowns slightly.

“You don’t have to, darling,” he adds. “You can stay right where you are, if you’d rather. I’m happy to have you at my feet, Jason.”

Jason shudders, his eyes closing for a moment, and when he opens them again, he doesn’t quite meet Tim’s gaze, keeping his own lowered submissively instead.

“I want to keep kneeling,” he admits quietly, and Tim reaches out to grab his chin once more. He turns Jason’s face up, holding him in place as he leans in to press a kiss to Jason’s lips.

“That’s fine,” Tim reassures him, and then he kisses him again, his tongue sliding between Jason’s lips and prying them open. He can just barely taste himself on the sub’s tongue, and it makes a shiver run down his spine as he kisses Jason hungrily. Jason is unsteady when Tim finally pulls back, his breathing a little too quick as he wavers in place.

Gently, he guides Jason’s cheek down against his thigh. The sub melts against him, and Tim just smiles down at him fondly for several long moments as he pets through Jason’s hair.

He looks away eventually, though, and reaches for the remote, turning the tv on and setting it to the news. He turns the volume down to a low drone and eases back against the couch cushions, watching the news idly as most of his focus remains on the sub kneeling at his feet and the weight of his trust where it sits on Tim’s shoulders.

* * *

Jason floats along happily, Tim’s fingers in his hair and the quiet murmuring of the tv easing him down. He feels looser and more at peace than he has in months, the anxiety that constantly buzzes beneath his skin dulled to the point where it’s almost unnoticeable.

He’s a bit surprised with himself, if he’s being honest. He’d managed not to slip entirely under Tim’s orders and advances, and yet he feels very much like he’s down now as he soaks in the afterglow of their not-scene. It feels different from the usual post-orgasm fatigue. He feels lighter, _safer_ , and that might be the most surprising part of all. Because if he really is down, with the scent of sex filling his nostrils with every breath, Jason would have expected to panic.

No matter how careful he and Tim are, he’s not naive enough to think it will be without hardships.

But he doesn’t feel any of that panic now, not even as the cooling mess in his underwear starts to get itchy and uncomfortable. Not with the aftertaste of cum in his mouth or streaks of it drying on his cheeks.

A spark of hope ignites in his chest.

Maybe, just maybe, he’s truly ready for this, after all. Maybe everything will go smoothly as he and Tim take this plunge together.

Maybe he’s not _broken._

Maybe…

Jason isn’t sure how long Tim lets him drift for, but he surfaces slowly to the coaxing sound of his Dom’s voice saying his name and asking him to come back. Telling him it’s time to come up.

Jason fights against the haze keeping him under, surfacing with a quiet gasp as he manages to open his eyes. Tim is smiling down at him so softly that Jason’s heart aches, and he gives a sleepy little whine as he nuzzles against Tim’s leg.

“Oh sweetheart,” Tim coos, his fingers once more working through Jason’s hair. “You’re so sweet, Jay, look at you.”

Jason blushes and whines with embarrassment, and Tim chuckles.

“My sweet boy,” he continues. “So good for me. Did you have a nice rest?”

Jason nods against his thigh, and Tim huffs out a quiet laugh.

“Good.”

Jason shivers at the note of pure pleasure in Tim’s voice and slowly lifts his head to look at him. He doesn’t say anything, but he’s sure the questioning look on his face asks his question well enough anyway.

_Why did you bring me back up?_

Tim hums and drags the tip of his forefinger down the bridge of Jason’s nose, tapping once at the tip of it before he grazes his knuckles down the side of Jason’s neck.

“We still have things to talk about,” he says finally, an apologetic lilt to his voice. Jason groans, watching as Tim’s lips twitch with amusement.

He doesn’t _want_ to talk. Or, he _does_ , because he knows how important it is, and it means the _world_ to him that Tim wants to be careful, wants to hear his feelings and opinions, just. He wishes it wasn’t necessary. He wishes they could just be exploring things together, finding out _together_ what they like and dislike. What’s good and what’s bad.

But Jason lost his chance to learn those things organically a long, long time ago, and how could Tim have been expected to wait? He didn’t even know there was someone to be waiting _for._ Jason doesn’t begrudge him that; he just wishes that it could have been different.

“Everything you said earlier,” Tim starts, and Jason shivers at the way his eyes start to go dark, “I want that, too. It sounds perfect, Jay, just like you.” He wets his lips, hesitating a little, and Jason’s gut twists anxiously. “Can you tell me a bit about what you _don’t_ want?” Jason drops his gaze immediately, his shoulders hunching in a little, and Tim makes a despairing noise.

“It isn’t so I can use it against you, Jason,” Tim says, sounding absolutely heartbroken, and Jason wants to say that he knows that, except. Except he doesn’t, not entirely. And it’s not Tim’s fault, but it still makes him feel ungrateful and rude for doubting Tim when it’s not really about him at all.

“Jay,” Tim murmurs. “Oh, sweetheart. I promise you, I would never use any of this against you. I need to know so that I _don’t_ hurt you.”

Jason stays quiet for a while, parsing through his thoughts, and then finally starts to speak. He keeps his gaze lowered, not sure that he can get through all of this if he has to look at Tim’s face, if he has to see his disappointment or frustration when he doesn’t like what he hears.

“Don’t call me a whore,” he says softly, trying his level best not to read into the noise Tim makes at that, “or, or tell me how it’s all I’m good for.” He pauses, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “You can call me a slut, or a bitch, just not… that.”

Jason squeezes his eyes shut, trying to ignore the memories that are desperate to start poking through. He doesn’t want to deal with them right now, even if he knows that maybe he should. That it would be better to deal with them now than have them force their way forward when Tim’s actually fucking him.

But.

He just doesn’t want to.

Tim doesn’t press him to continue, just patiently combs through Jason’s hair with his fingers, waiting for Jason to be ready to go on. Eventually, he does.

“Please don’t threaten to hurt me,” he mumbles, his shoulders immediately tensing from the expectation of anger that never comes. “Like. I mean. I mean, I know I said you can spank me. That’s… fine, you can threaten to do that. To, um. Punish me in, in _normal_ ways. Just. If, if I say stop, or. Or panic and start fighting, don’t–” He cuts himself off with a keening whine, frustration bubbling up with the way he’s struggling to get the words out, to make Tim _understand_ , and to do it without being swallowed by the chaotic waters of his past.

Tim makes a low noise in response, his fingers moving lower to massage the nape of Jason’s neck.

“It’s okay,” he reassures him. “Just take it slow. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jason takes a few deep breaths, letting them out slowly, and eventually his shoulders start to relax.

“I– Before… I always tried to get away,” he explains, “and they’d always get so angry.” Jason shudders, his voice taking on a dark, unfamiliar twist. “Stop struggling or I’ll fucking gut you,” he parrots, and Tim’s fingers tighten against the back of his neck before immediately relaxing. His thumb rubs soothing circles against Jason’s skin in apology.

Jason’s lower lip trembles. He closes his eyes tighter, but it isn’t enough to stop the tears that are leaking out.

“Sh-shut up, or, or I’ll c-cut your tongue out and, and f-fuck y-your bl-bl–”

Jason doesn’t have to cut himself off this time, because Tim does it for him. Jason shifts slightly as Tim slides off the couch to join him on the floor, his arms coming out to wrap around Jason and pull him into his chest. Jason reaches up weakly to grasp at the front of Tim’s shirt as he buries his face against the material and sobs.

“I’m so sorry,” Tim whispers, his fierceness coming through even with the hushed volume. “I’m so sorry anyone ever said those things to you, Jason. You didn’t deserve it.” He holds onto Jason tightly, his face pressed into his hair as he squeezes his shoulder and rubs at the small of his back.

“I swear,” he continues, “Jason, darling, I swear that I would never, ever say those things to you. I swear it.”

Jason nods against him, but he doesn’t pull away or try to speak. Instead, he just lets himself cry and accepts the offered comfort and security of Tim’s embrace as the younger man continues to murmur gentle reassurances. He’s not sure how long they stay like that, but he figures it might be nearly ten minutes. Which is embarrassing, he supposes, but the shame doesn’t hit the way he had expected that it would.

Slowly, his tears dry up until he’s really only sniffling, and when he tries to pull back, Tim’s grip loosens to let him. Before he can reach up to wipe his own tears, Tim’s hands are on his face, gently doing it for him, and Jason’s eyes water a little once more at the tenderness of the action.

He thinks he should apologize, maybe, but he also thinks Tim would just tell him that he doesn’t need to. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe it’s okay that he isn’t entirely whole right now, because Tim wants him anyway, baggage and all.

“Thank you,” he says instead, his voice rasping a little from the crying fit. It isn’t nearly enough to express his gratitude for all that Tim has done so far, for Tim still _being there_ even after witnessing exactly how much of a mess he is, but it’s a start, and he _needs_ Tim to understand that he’s grateful. That Tim’s patience and support mean so, so much to him.

Tim’s smile is sad, and Jason feels a little guilty for putting that look on his face.

“Of course,” he replies gently. “I’ll always be here for you. Thank _you_ for trusting me with that. I know it wasn’t easy to talk about.”

“I,” Jason starts, “I don’t think I want to try any kind of, um, rape roleplay stuff.” He shudders, and Tim draws him forward again to press a kiss to his brow. “I know it helps some people, but–”

Tim reaches for one of his hands, curling their fingers together and squeezing lightly.

“That’s perfectly fine, Jason,” he says. “There’s more than one path to healing.”

Jason nods slowly, though his own guilt prevents him from feeling entirely reassured.

Doms like control, that’s kind of their whole thing. He’s painfully aware of how common that kind of play is, both with survivors like himself and with subs who’ve never been victimized that way. He’s already withholding so much from Tim, and he hates that he has to keep this from him, too.

“Maybe someday,” he finally says, barely loud enough to be heard.

Tim hums noncommittally.

“Maybe,” he agrees, “but it’s okay if we never try that. That’s not something I need, and if it’s only going to hurt you, then it’s not something I _want_ , either.”

Jason nods again but says nothing more. After a few seconds have passed in silence, Tim speaks up again.

“I think,” he says, “that, for now, we don’t really need a safe word.” Jason barely has time for his heart to stutter with fear before Tim continues, immediately setting him back at ease. “If you want to stop, you can just tell me to stop. If you tell me no, I will stop. If you tell me don’t, _I will stop._ Is that okay with you?”

Fresh tears prickle at Jason’s eyes, and he nods.

“Yes, Sir,” he says.

Tim squeezes his hand again. “Good.” He pauses, a thoughtful look crossing his face, and then adds, “you can still use your colours, of course. I know it’s what you’re used to. I just mean that they won’t be all you have. Red, stop, no, don’t, whatever else you say that sounds like ‘I don’t want this’, any of those will make me stop, Jason. And you can say yellow, or ask me to slow down, or pause, or just tell me that you need a break, that you need a minute, any of that is okay. If I think you look unsure or scared, if I’m not sure what you mean when you say something, I’ll _ask_. I won’t just keep going. Okay?”

Jason’s heart aches with fondness, and love, and _hope_. Tim is saying all the right things, things that Jason never thought he would be in a position to hear, and it’s just so _much_. But it’s good, too. It’s more than good.

“Okay,” he agrees.

Tim’s smile is still tinged with sadness, but there’s a quiet pride behind it now, too, and Jason feels his cheeks growing warm. He ducks his head and looks away, and Tim lifts their joined hands to press his lips to the back of Jason’s.

“Would it be okay if I told you a little bit about what I like and don’t like?” he asks, and Jason nods. “Thank you. Why don’t we get up off the floor first though, hmm?”

Jason nods again, but he makes no move to do so. It’s not a test, but he’s still surprised when Tim doesn’t immediately try to drag him to his feet or manhandle him into getting onto the couch. Tim just stands up smoothly, one hand still holding onto Jason’s, and then… waits. There’s no huff of annoyance, or impatient tapping of his foot.

Just. Patience.

Slowly, Jason stands up, his movements a lot less graceful and steady than Tim’s had been, but Tim doesn’t comment on it. All he does is give an encouraging smile and then gently turn him around and push him down onto the couch so that he’s sitting where Tim was before. Then, Tim lays down, his head pillowed in Jason’s lap, and reaches for Jason’s hand again. He rests their joined hands over his chest and squirms to get comfortable, and, slowly, Jason reaches out with his other hand to start massaging Tim’s head.

The younger man lets out a noise not unlike a purr and pushes his head into Jason’s touch.

“I meant what I said,” Tim starts eventually, “about what you suggested sounding good. I’m okay with everything you mentioned.”

Jason swallows, his throat bobbing around it, and gives a minute nod.

“I enjoy using toys, too, though,” he continues. “Not for impact play, like you said. Just. Vibrators, anal plugs, nipple clamps… Things like that.” His lips curl into a grin, presumably at the blush rising on Jason’s cheeks. “Is that okay?”

Jason nods again, more visibly this time, but the words won’t come out when he opens his mouth. He can picture it already, Tim teasing his chest until his nipples are hard and then screwing a pair of clamps around them. Adding weights to pull them down, or connecting them with a chain that he can pull on like he teased he would earlier.

He shivers and his cock twitches, and Jason finds himself relieved that Tim’s head is more on his thigh than right in his lap.

“Yeah,” he finally makes himself say. “That all sounds okay.”

“What about gags?” he asks, his expression turning uncertain for the first time. “We’d have a system for you to signal when you want to stop.”

Jason considers it for a moment, his fingers pausing in Tim’s hair until he presses into the touch again and reminds Jason of what he was doing.

Would he like that, being gagged?

He might. Not being able to talk _is_ one of the things he enjoys about giving head. And, and this is Tim. Tim who would never, ever lock some kind of gag around his face and refuse to take it off. Still…

“Nothing that closes with a lock and key,” he says finally, and something like hurt flashes in Tim’s eyes. Fuck.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” he rushes to say, and Tim squeezes his hand.

“I know,” he promises. “I’m just sad that you even had to think like that. Did someone try that before?”

Jason shakes his head.

“No,” he says. “Not to me. But I’ve seen subs like that. One of my– Willis’ friends. He used to use a gag like that on his wife, and he used to tell her he liked her better that way, when she couldn’t bitch at him. He joked about giving Willis one for me when I got in trouble for running my mouth once.” Jason shudders, and he squeezes Tim’s hand gently, trying to ground himself. “It was just a joke, but. But he looked like he was considering it, for a minute.”

“I’m sorry, Jay,” Tim says. “I don’t want to shut you up because I don’t want to hear you. It’s just nice, sometimes, to watch my sub struggling while I tease them. To ask them what they want and have them get so frustrated from not being able to answer.”

Jason shivers at that, but it’s not in a bad way. Not entirely, at least, because. Because he trusts Tim when he says they’d have some kind of signal to stop, trusts Tim not to abuse that authority. And the thought of Tim playing with him, _edging_ him, and then asking Jason what he wants, telling him he needs to _ask_ if he wants to come knowing full-well that Jason _can’t_ …

It’s actually pretty hot.

His mouth feels so dry all of a sudden, and Jason has to swallow a few times before he can speak.

“I think,” he finally says, “that I’d like to try that. Just, just maybe not… the first time.”

“That’s okay,” Tim agrees easily. “We can work up to it. None of this needs to happen right away. Hell, Jay, if you just want me to put you down and then have the most vanilla sex ever, that’s _completely_ okay with me.”

Jason blinks, his expression turning more than a little surprised as he looks down at Tim. But the thing is, Tim’s expression is serious, and open, and genuine.

“You really mean that,” he says, stunned.

“I do.” Tim licks his lips and shifts slightly. “I want you however you’ll let me have you, Jason. _You’re_ the gift here, everything else is just frills.”

The tears that spring to Jason’s eyes then are a surprise, and he blushes hard as he looks away and untangles his hand from Tim’s hair so he can scrub the back of it over his cheeks.

“Sap,” he mutters finally, but it comes out a little too wobbly to be the accusation he was aiming for. Tim looks entirely too pleased with himself, and he nudges his head insistently against Jason’s thigh until he concedes and goes back to playing with Tim’s hair.

“Never said I wasn’t,” Tim says smugly, and Jason huffs, willing his blush to die down.

Tim smiles up at him, his eyes going all soft like he really is the sap Jason’s accused him of being, and he slowly guides Jason’s hand up with his own until they’re both resting against the hollow of his throat.

“I’d like you to wear my collar, even if it’s only when we have sex,” he says, and Jason’s fingers twitch as he gives a low whine.

 _“Please,”_ he manages, and Tim beams up at him. “I’d. I’d wear it all the time, except maybe on patrol.”

Tim’s smile grows, and his eyes darken slightly due to his widening pupils.

“Hm,” he purrs, “I think that can be arranged, then.”

Something nervous flutters in Jason’s stomach, but he doesn’t think it’s a bad kind of anxiety. It might even be excitement.

He never once dared to hope that he’d have an actual Dom of his own, one who wanted to keep him and claim him for all the world to see. Maybe once upon a time he’d feared it, feared having a collar forced onto him and being bent to someone else’s will, but it’s been so long since that fear was replaced by the aching loneliness of feeling unwanted, of feeling _unworthy._

And Tim offers it like it’s so easy, like there’s nothing more he wants than to have Jason as his own.

“I’ll get you something custom-made,” Tim says after a moment, “but for now, I have a play collar we can use.”

Jason takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, telling himself that this is good. That it’s what he _wants_ , and there’s no need to start panicking about the extent of such a commitment. 

Reminds himself that he’s seen himself as Tim’s for so long already.

“Sounds good.”

Tim smiles up at him and slowly uncurls his fingers from where they’re tangled with Jason’s. He nudges Jason’s hand open, positioning it gently around his own throat, and Jason inhales sharply. His fingers twitch but don’t tighten, too afraid to mess up in this show of trust. Tim had undone the top few buttons of his shirt before he arrived, and the thin scar across his throat where Jason had cut it so many years ago is starkly visible. He swallows hard, his own throat feeling a bit tight as he carefully traces his thumb across the scar.

Tim reaches for his other hand, then, removing it from his hair and keeping it held up as he winds his fingers around Jason’s wrist. Jason feels his breathing stutter as his other hand goes still where it continues to loosely cup Tim’s throat.

"It comes with matching cuffs," Tim says suddenly, and it takes Jason a moment to realize that Tim is referring to the play collar he mentioned. A shiver runs down his spine when the knowledge connects. "We don't have to use them, but,” Tim continues, “just so I know, where do you stand on restraints?"

Jason’s fingers curl down, balling his hand into a fist, and he’s sure the tendons in his wrist must flex under Tim’s fingers. He lets out a slow breath and finally pulls his gaze from his hand on Tim’s neck to the younger man’s face.

“I’ve tried them a few times,” he says. “Mostly with Kyle. It… wasn’t bad.” Jason licks his lips self-consciously and looks away, and Tim’s fingers tighten around his wrist just a fraction. It’s oddly comforting. “I don’t know if that will be different if I’m down,” he admits. “So. Just. Maybe? Is that okay?”

Tim hums thoughtfully and then lets go of Jason’s wrist. He taps at the back of his other hand a moment later, and Jason releases his throat with an audible sigh of relief. It’s just not right, a sub holding their Dom like that. It’s too backwards.

And Jason of all people doesn’t deserve to have Tim even remotely at his mercy.

Tentatively, he drops a hand back into Tim’s hair, but he hesitates, waiting until Tim pushes into his touch to start massaging his head again. Tim sighs, sounding utterly at ease, and Jason feels the slightest spark of envy in his chest.

“That’s absolutely okay,” he says finally, his gaze meeting Jason’s steadily. “Honestly, I’m expecting a lot of things to fall into that category, once we get beyond your hard ‘no’s.” Jason blinks, cocking his head slightly, and Tim elaborates, “well, it’s like you said, isn’t it? Even the things you’ve enjoyed before, you enjoyed them when you were _up_. Jason, I think we should both be prepared for those opinions to change when you’re down. If that’s the state you were in when you experienced so much of your sexual trauma, it’s completely likely that those sensations and experiences will be tied more to the mental state than to the act itself.”

Tim’s right; Jason knows he is. He just doesn’t want to admit it, not completely. It’s one thing to know that the big things will trigger him, but the thought that things he’s done and enjoyed completely in non-dynamic sex might very well set him off nonetheless if he’s down… He hates it. It’s entirely possible he will end up unable to have sex like that at all, that no matter how gentle Tim is, Jason might not be able to stand having his hands on him once he fully lets go.

It’s not fair.

He’s afraid of what Tim will do, if that proves true. Not because he truly thinks that Tim will ignore his pleas, will take what he wants anyway to punish Jason for being a tease. But. If he _can’t_ do this, if he can _never_ overcome what he’s been through and he’s gone and gotten Tim’s hopes up for nothing…

Will they ever really recover?

Jason isn’t going to trap Tim in a relationship that leaves him unhappy and unfulfilled. He loves him too much for that. But Tim will try to stay. Stupid, perfect, _honourable_ Tim, who will feel responsible, who will feel obligated to stay.

Jason jerks suddenly, his chest heaving from the sudden shock of feeling something touching his face. When his attention returns, he realises that it was just Tim reaching up, his fingers brushing across Jason’s cheek.

“Hey,” he says gently as Jason tries to catch his breath, “where did you go just now, darling?”

Stupid, perfect, _perceptive_ Tim.

Jason shakes his head, but Tim’s expression only grows more stern. Jason kind of wants to smooth his fingers across his brow, to erase the furrows on it that speak of Tim’s stress.

“Jason,” he says firmly, and Jason shivers.

“I just don’t want to trap you,” he admits, and Tim’s expression slackens. It’s somehow worse; it’s not from relaxation, but rather sadness.

“Jay,” he starts, but Jason shakes his head.

“You deserve a sub who isn’t fucking _broken_ ,” he spits, and Tim hisses.

“You are _not_ broken, Jason Todd,” he says fiercely, and Jason wishes he believed those words and strongly as Tim appears to. “ _And_ the only person who gets to decide what I deserve and want is _me_. It’s not your place. _Is that understood?_ ”

Jason tenses, his shoulders pulling up towards his ears as he gasps out a _‘yes, Sir.’_ His hand stills, fingers trembling slightly, and then he feels Tim pulling away, sitting up.

“Jason,” he says, and Jason jerks away from the hand that comes up to hold his cheek. Tim withdraws immediately, but he’s still _right there_ ; Jason can feel the heat emanating off his body with how close they are.

“Shit, fuck. Jay, I’m sorry,” he insists. “I’m not angry with you. That wasn’t–” Tim hesitates, like he’s trying to figure out exactly how Jason took it, and he settles on, “that wasn’t a threat. It just upsets me to hear you talk about yourself that way. And to hear you question the way I feel about you. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Jason lets out a trembling breath and tries to make himself accept Tim’s words as truth. They probably are, of course, because it’s _Tim_ , and Jason _knows_ it’s Tim. But.

 _“Go to your fucking room. If I hear you so much as_ move _in there, I’ll make you regret it. Is that understood?”_

But what he knows and what he feels just aren’t lining up right now.

“Jason?” Tim calls softly. “Darling, can I touch you?”

Jason sucks in another gasping breath only to choke a little when he tries to hold it. Finally, he gives a jerky nod, and then suddenly Tim is in his lap, his arms are around Jason’s shoulders, and he’s guiding Jason’s face down into the crook of his neck.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers urgently. “Jason, I’m sorry. You’re so good, darling. You’ve been so strong for me, I’m so proud of you. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m not going to hurt you, Jay. You’re here with me and you’re _safe_.”

Slowly, Jason brings his hands up to clutch at the back of Tim’s shirt, and Tim keeps murmuring to him, fervently reassuring him that he’s safe and that Tim is sorry. It takes a few minutes, but Jason manages to pull himself together in the end, and without shedding any tears this time. Tim is hesitant to let him go, but the third time Jason pulls back, he finally loosens his arms, though he doesn’t let them drop completely.

“I’m so sorry,” he says as soon as he sees Jason’s face, and he sounds so contrite that Jason’s chest aches.

“I know,” he whispers hoarsely. He coughs and looks away, and Tim’s knees squeeze around his thighs slightly, like he’s bracing to stay put if Jason tries to get out from under him. Weirdly enough, the movement doesn’t register as anything but protective to Jason. “I’m sorry, too.”

“You don’t need to be,” Tim says immediately, and Jason’s lips twitch into a bittersweet smile as he makes himself look at Tim again, makes himself see the hurt and the sadness and the compassion in his eyes.

“I know,” Jason replies, “but I am anyway.”

Tim looks at him a moment longer, eyes darting across his face, and Jason wonders what he’s seeing. Finally, he nods.

“Okay,” he says. He takes in a deep breath, almost like he’s steeling himself, and then says, “but I mean it, Jason. I’m here because I want _you_. You’re not tricking me or trapping me just because you wanted to try this. We both know it might not work, that you might never be able to do this. I’m here anyway. I _want_ to be here, no matter what. Can you please trust me to know my own mind?”

Jason looks down guiltily and nods.

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Okay.”

Tim sighs and sags against him, tucking his head under Jason’s chin.

“I love you because you’re _you_ , Jason,” Tim says, his words muffled by Jason’s chest, “not because you’re a sub I might get to fuck.”

Jason breathes out slowly, his arms coming up to wrap around Tim’s shoulders and hold him close. He buries his face in the younger man’s hair and inhales, filling his senses with the scent, and feel, and sound of Tim.

He doesn’t know what he did to deserve someone like Tim, but maybe it’s time for him to stop looking a gift-horse in the mouth. To stop looking for ways to make everything collapse before it’s even really started.

“I believe you,” he says eventually, and Tim goes nearly boneless against him with relief.

“Thank you,” he whispers, and Jason holds him tighter.

Tim shifts eventually, tipping his head back so that it’s more his chin resting on Jason’s chest. Jason lifts his own head, looking down at Tim curiously. He opens his mouth to ask if something’s wrong, but Tim speaks up instead.

"Do you trust me, Jason?" he asks, and Jason feels his brow furrowing.

"You know I do," he says.

Tim nods like he did, in fact, know that, and he pulls back a little more, sitting up straighter as he reaches for Jason’s hands and brings them together, holding them both between his own.

"Do you have any pressing cases?"

_Oh._

Jason shivers and shakes his head. His voice catches the first time, but he manages to rasp out a _‘no’_ after a few tries.

Tim smiles gently and squeezes his hands.

"Give me until tomorrow night,” he requests, and Jason nods again, a weird mix of numbness and excitement warring inside his chest, “so I can arrange someone to cover our patrol routes. Can you wait that long?"

“Yeah,” Jason murmurs, nodding once again and feeling a little dumb for it. But. But that’s okay, really. He’s supposed to let Tim handle everything, isn’t he?

Tim’s smile is so bright and hopeful that Jason can’t stop himself from leaning forwards and kissing him. Their hands are caught uncomfortably between them, but when Tim kisses him back, he lets Jason’s go and reaches up to cup his cheeks, instead. Jason brings his to hold onto Tim’s hips.

Warmth stirs in Jason’s chest and his stomach both, and he lets himself melt backwards against the couch cushions as he draws Tim closer, as he opens his mouth wider and lets Tim lick his way into it. He moans softly when Tim starts rocking in his lap eventually, and Jason rolls his own hips up to meet him.

They stay like that for what feels like forever, kissing and grinding and slowly bringing one another to completion for a second time.

When they’ve both come down and caught their breath, Jason stands, bringing Tim with him and reveling in the way the slighter man clings to him as Jason carries him to his bedroom.

“Stay until patrol,” he says as he lays Tim down, and Tim smiles up at him dazedly, his hands reaching out and making grabbing motions towards Jason.

Jason can’t help but chuckle. He dips down and kisses Tim gently before straightening back up.

“One second,” he says, and Tim pouts. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not trying to sleep in cum-stained underwear, baby bird.”

Tim rolls his eyes, but he doesn't protest further.

Jason heads to his dresser first, taking out two pairs of sweatpants. He tosses one towards the bed, and then heads into the bathroom with the other. He makes quick work of stripping down, and then he wets a washcloth and starts wiping himself down. He grimaces at the way the dried cum from their first round sticks in his pubic hair and scrubs a little harder until he’s gotten most of it out, and then he wipes down his thighs and his belly where the mess had smeared.

When he’s finished, Jason rinses the cloth out, tosses it into the hamper with his soiled clothes, and pulls the clean sweatpants on. He wets another cloth before he leaves and then heads back out into his bedroom.

While he was gone, Tim has managed to wriggle out of his clothes, but he’s still stretched out on the bed and looking happy as a clam. Jason’s breath catches a little as he looks at him, a blush rising in his cheeks as his gaze lingers on his sticky cock. It’s no longer hard and flushed, but it still makes Jason’s mouth water. He wonders how he ever used to manage to share the locker rooms in the Cave with Tim without dropping to his knees then and there, right in front of everyone.

He wonders if he’ll still be able to now.

Tim catches him staring after a moment, sitting up slightly and propping himself up on his elbows. He wiggles his eyebrows playfully, and Jason feels the tension growing inside him shatter. He huffs and makes his way across the room, tossing the wet cloth to land on Tim’s stomach. The younger man lets out a quiet ‘oof’, but then he picks up the cloth and starts wiping himself down.

“Thanks, Jay,” he says around a yawn when he finishes and holds the cloth back out for him to take. Jason pulls the sweatpants closer and takes the cloth, returning to the bathroom to drop it in the laundry. Tim’s just finishing pulling the pants on when he returns, and he smiles over at Jason as he sinks back down onto the bed.

“C’mon,” he says, and Jason slinks over to the bed and crawls up onto it, settling himself in against the curve of Tim’s body. It should feel ridiculous, considering how much larger he is than Tim, but, really, all Jason feels is safe when Tim curls around him.

He sighs happily, snuggling closer when he feels Tim brush a kiss over his temple. It takes a little shuffling, but Tim gets the comforter pulled up over them after a moment.

“Night, Jay,” Tim says sleepily, and Jason smiles to himself, hidden in the safety of Tim’s body. He blinks a few times, drowsiness hitting him hard now that they’re done talking and done… everything else.

“Goodnight, Sir,” he murmurs back.

He’s out so fast after that, he barely notices the way Tim clutches him just a little closer in response.

* * *

True to his word, while out on patrol, Tim manages to convince Steph to cover Jason’s territory the following night and, begrudgingly, Damian agrees to take his own. Tim’s expecting some kind of snide remark about what he’ll owe him for it, but when Damian squares his shoulders and looks down at him sternly, Tim knows it’s going to take another route.

He should have known Damian would be paying attention after his comment the other night.

“If you hurt him,” Damian starts, the full force of Shrike’s glare and growl focused on him as they stand on a rooftop in the Diamond District. He trails off for a moment, his lips curling into a cruel smirk that Tim knows scares the pants off of so many criminals. “Well,” he finally resumes, “I assure you the League taught me a lot more than just how to kill a man.”

Tim wishes he could say the threat didn’t make him shudder.

He and Damian are, overall, on decent terms these days, but they still have their moments. Tim, just like Bruce, still catalogues every ally as a potential enemy, too, and just like when he was still a child trying to kill Tim, Damian remains extremely high on his list of ‘friends-who-might-become-threats’.

He wonders when he stopped placing Jason on that list, and a clinical part of his mind wonders if he should put him back. Jason, just like Damian, is a reformed killer, and one who went after Tim himself in the past, after all.

Or maybe it’s Damian who deserves to be taken _off_ the list.

But that’s a thought for another time.

Forcing himself to meet Damian’s gaze – or the eyes of his domino, anyway, – Tim makes sure his own posture is loose and unthreatening.

“If I hurt him,” he responds steadily, “I’ll hold you to that myself.”

Damian stares at him a moment or two longer before giving a near-imperceptible nod. Nothing more is said, and Damian turns aways, his cape billowing out behind him as he takes off towards the edge of the roof and fires his grappling gun.

Tim watches him swing away and realises with a start that Damian just gave him his blessing.

He can only hope that the rest of the family will do the same.

* * *

Tim crashes at his own apartment after patrol, partly so as not to rouse suspicion, but also because there are a few errands he wants to run before he goes back over to Jason’s.

He wakes a little after noon and climbs into the shower to wake himself up a little more. Excitement starts bubbling up inside of him soon after, and Tim scrubs himself down quickly before rinsing off and stepping out. He dries off and pulls on a pair of boxer-briefs and then immediately sets to work on packing up a bag to take with him. The play collar that he’d mentioned the day before goes inside, as do the matching cuffs even though Tim doesn’t expect to end up using them this time. A few different pairs of nipples clamps get added to the bag, and then a cockring, and a leash, and a few different types of gags. A mostly-full bottle of lube joins the pile once Tim is sure that it’s sealed properly. He hesitates for a moment, but then he tosses in a few coils of soft, red rope and a pack of soy candles.

He’s over-preparing, he knows, but he’d rather have more than he needs than go looking for something that he left behind.

Besides, Tim suspects that, for a while, most of this will be happening at Jason’s place, so it only makes sense that he starts transporting his supplies now.

When he’s satisfied with the selection of toys he’s chosen, Tim crosses over to his closet to get dressed.

It’s a Saturday, so usually he’d pull on something casual and comfortable, but he wants to dress the part. He ends up settling on a light purple dress shirt and a pair of black slacks, and then he tosses a simple tank top and pair of jeans towards his bag to wear tomorrow.

He takes his time grooming himself and getting dressed, and briefly, Tim laments not shaving _before_ bed, laments their messed up sleeping schedules. He would have loved to see Jason’s skin get red and irritated from Tim’s 'five o’clock' shadow when he eats him out.

A thought for another day, he supposes.

Tim heads out shortly after he’s finished getting ready. He swings through a drive-thru for a coffee and a breakfast sandwich, mentally apologizing to Jason and Alfred both as he does, and then heads into town. He has a stop to make before he heads over to Jason’s apartment in Robbinsville.

* * *

Tim can tell as soon as he lets himself into Jason’s apartment that the other man is stressing out. The mix of bleach and lemon-fresh cleaning products contrasts horribly with the scent of freshly-baked cookies and brownies, but, to Tim, it smells like home.

It’s almost funny, how closely Jason takes after Alfred when he really spent so few years living in the Manor himself.

Tim sets both his duffle bag and shopping bag down by the door as he slips out of his shoes, and then he heads towards the sound of scrubbing coming from the bathroom.

“Sweetheart, you know you don’t have to clean for me, right?” he asks, only half-teasing. He leans against the doorframe, arms crossed loosely over his chest, and looks down at where Jason is on his hands and knees, scrubbing out the tub.

Jason’s head jerks up, his eyes blowing wide, and Tim realises he actually managed to sneak up on the other man. So he’s _really_ stressed out, then.

“Well it’s not exactly gonna clean itself,” Jason hisses, his features pinching into a scowl, and Tim has to fight not to laugh. It isn’t right, he knows. Jason is clearly upset, but he’s just.

He’s just so fucking _cute._

Tim raises his hands in surrender, instead.

“Okay,” he agrees, “you’ve got me there.”

Jason grumbles a moment longer and then turns back to his task. Tim tries not to sigh.

“Alright,” he says, “when you’re finished, I’ll be in the living room.” He pauses, watches as Jason curls in on himself a little, his shoulders drawing up towards his ears. Tim lets out a breath, any amusement he felt dwindling entirely. “Take your time, Jay,” he reassures him. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk.”

Jason doesn’t stop, but Tim thinks he can see some of the tension leaking back out of his posture as Tim’s words settle over him. He smiles slightly as he steps away from the bathroom, calling back over his shoulder, “and I’m stealing a brownie!”

He hears an indignant squawk at that, but Tim doesn’t turn around to investigate.

* * *

It’s about another hour before Jason finally joins him in the living room. Tim had heard him leave the bathroom about twenty minutes after he arrived, but then it wasn’t much longer before he heard the dryer turn on as Jason finished the laundry he must have started before Tim arrived.

Eventually, he wound up in the kitchen, washing dishes and scrubbing at the already-clean counters.

When he finally steps into the living room, Tim looks up from his tablet and the R&D reports he’d been looking through on it. He shuts off the screen and sets it aside before gesturing Jason closer.

“Ready to talk now?” he asks gently, but Jason shakes his head, staying a few feet away.

“Can we just get this over with?” he asks, and Tim frowns, his gut clenching with both hurt and discomfort.

“Jay,” he starts, sounding uncertain, “we don’t have to. You’re upset about something, we can just talk.”

Jason is shaking his head before Tim even finishes.

“No,” he protests sharply. He wraps his arms around himself and squeezes, and Tim wants to go over and bundle him up in his own arms, but he doesn’t. Jason clearly needs space, at least for the moment. “No,” he says again. “It’s. It’s not that. I. I _want_ to. Tim, I want to, I’m just.” He shudders and lets out a low whine. “I keep thinking about it and psyching myself out. I just. I just want to– Please? Can we just… _please?_ ”

Tim feels his own tension and discomfort start to fade as clarity sets in. He stands up slowly, projecting his movements as he steps closer to Jason and then slowly reaches out to touch his cheek. Jason leans into his palm with a quiet sigh, and Tim looks at him a moment longer before nodding.

“Okay,” he agrees. “Okay, sweetheart. Let me give you what you need, then.”

Jason shivers, his eyes lowering submissively, and Tim leans in to brush a kiss over his lips.

“Go wait for me in the bedroom,” he orders. “Don’t take your clothes off. You can sit on the bed.”

Jason nods a little too stiffly before he steps back. “Yes, Sir,” he mumbles.

Tim watches him walk away and then lets out a long, shuddering breath. His fists clench at his sides and he holds them that way for a few seconds before slowly releasing them and letting his whole body relax along with them.

Then he goes to retrieve his bags.

When he makes it to the bedroom, Jason is doing exactly as he was told. He’s sitting, still fully dressed, right on the edge of the bed, and his breathing seems steady overall. Tim smiles slightly at the sight and steps into the room fully.

“Is it okay if I close the door?” he asks, and one of Jason’s shoulders twitches up in a minute shrug. Tim clears his throat. “When I ask you a question,” he says, “I expect an answer.”

Jason shivers. He still doesn’t look up, but he does speak. “Yes, Sir,” he says, “it’s okay.”

“Good,” Tim praises, wanting to re-enforce Jason telling him what he wants. He closes the door with a soft little _click_ and then moves further into the room. He sets his bags at the foot of the bed and then steps in front of Jason.

“Look at me, Jason,” he says, and Jason forces his head to rise. He blinks, and there’s a lot of anxiety and fear swirling in his gaze, but there’s still a lot of clarity, too. Good.

“Tell me how you ask me to stop,” he says, and Jason’s brow furrows briefly before smoothing out. Tim thinks it takes a little of the fear in his eyes away, too, even if it doesn’t erase it entirely.

“I tell you no,” he says quietly. He wets his lips and looks away, but when Tim clears his throat, Jason looks at him again. “Or don’t,” he adds. “Or stop. Or red.”

Tim smiles.

“Good,” he says. He reaches out and cups Jason’s cheek, his thumb brushing along the sub’s cheekbone. “That’s good, darling.” Then, he adds, “and if you don’t answer me at all, I will also take that as a sign to stop.”

Jason nods slightly, his gaze dropping again. Tim lets him stay that way this time.

He drops his hand and steps back, moving to the side and sitting down next to Jason.

“When I say go,” he says, “you’re going to get up and take off your clothes for me, Jay. I want you to fold them nicely and put them on the dresser. Then you’re going to kneel in the middle of the room. Nod if you understand.”

Jason nods immediately, and Tim waits a few seconds, letting Jason start to work himself up.

“Go,” he says finally, and Jason obeys immediately.

He stands smoothly and immediately pulls his shirt off over his head. He folds it right away and sets it next to Tim on the bed, and Tim gives him a small nod of encouragement. Jason blushes as he starts to undo his jeans, the material clinging to his thighs and causing him to struggle a little when he tries to pull them off. He gets out of them eventually, though, and they end up folded and piled on top of his shirt. His socks come next, and Jason balls them together and adds them to the pile, and then, finally, his hands fall to the waistband of his underwear. He hesitates, and Tim wonders if he needs to intervene already. If he should ask Jason if this is okay.

The moment passes before he can though, and then Jason is naked before him as he folds his underwear and then picks up the pile of his clothing. He takes it over and sets it on top of the dresser, just like he was told to, and Tim admires the toned muscles of his body as he watches him. His gaze trails down from strong shoulders and toned traps to firm buttocks and Jason’s signature tree-trunk thighs. His mouth waters at the thought of getting his hands on all of that warm skin and tight muscle, and his cock stirs slightly, beginning to make itself known.

If Jason can feel Tim’s eyes on him, he doesn’t give any indication of it. He moves to the middle of the room as instructed and kneels down, his head bowing and his hands moving behind his back instinctively as his butt settles against his heels.

Tim was right, the other day. Like this, Jason’s spread legs really do give him the perfect view. Like his own, Jason’s cock is only just beginning to show signs of arousal, but Tim enjoys the sight of it nonetheless. It’s a nice size, even flaccid, and while Tim is going to _thoroughly_ enjoy fucking Jason today, he’s already looking forward to having the other man inside him someday. Hopefully someday soon.

Shaking off that thought, Tim busies himself with unzipping his bag and rooting around in it for something. He makes a soft little _ah-ha_ noise when he finds the box he’s looking for, and he slips it into his pocket before standing.

“Head up,” he says, not looking at Jason as he focuses instead on rolling up his sleeves to bare his wrists and most of his forearms. He spares a glance towards Jason as he switches arms, and his lips curl into a smirk at the way Jason’s eyes track his movement, as his throat bobs around a hard swallow as his gaze sweeps over Tim’s bared arms.

He circles Jason as he finishes with his second sleeve, stopping behind him and then reaching for his hair. He tugs gently, drawing Jason’s head back further so he’s looking up at him.

“You listen so well, don’t you, pet?” he observes, and Jason gives a low, aborted whine. “Or maybe you just like getting naked for Sir.”

Jason gasps at that, his pupils blowing wide and dark. He struggles to swallow with his head pulled so far back, and Tim grins.

“But I think we ought to dress you up if you’re going to try showing off,” he muses. “Don’t you agree?”

Jason whimpers at that, eyelids blinking slowly as he looks up at Tim, and Tim wonders just how much he’s starting to slip already.

His grip tightens just a bit. “Well?”

“Yes, Sir,” Jason says, more of an exhalation than actual speaking, and Tim’s grip loosens.

“Good boy,” he purrs, and Jason’s eyes close as he shudders. Tim lets go and steps around in front of Jason, and Jason’s head returns easily to its bowed position. Tim reaches into his pocket and pulls out the box before crouching down in front of his sub. “Hold this,” he says, and Jason brings his arms around so that he can do as he was told.

Tim takes the lid off once Jason takes the small box from him, and Tim smirks at the way Jason’s breath hitches when he sees what’s inside. Tim reaches out, bringing both of his hands up to Jason’s chest and groping at the taut muscles there before he starts stroking the sub’s nipples with his thumbs. Jason gasps and his chest heaves once before he goes utterly still.

“I think you’d look so lovely with a bit of jewelry,” he says, and Jason trembles as his nipples harden under Tim’s ministrations. He presses a little harder, circling them, and then he lets his pointer fingers join in on the fun. He traps each of Jason’s nipples between a finger and a thumb and pinches hard, reveling in the high gasp that escapes his sub as he does. He tugs at them experimentally, and the keen that Jason lets out is simply divine.

“Would you look at that,” he marvels. “They’re prettier already, so nice and flushed”

His gaze drops for a moment, and Tim has to bite back on a groan at the way Jason’s cock is beginning to plump up between his legs. God, he really does have a sensitive chest, doesn’t he?

“Let’s make them a little darker, shall we?”

Jason starts to make an inquisitive noise, but it shifts into a sharp cry when Tim harshly twists both of his caught nipples and holds them there for a few seconds. He gasps when Tim finally lets them go, his chest moving rapidly as he sucks in sharp breaths. Tim pauses, reaching out to cup Jason’s chin, and forces the sub to look at him.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” he coos, staring into hazy eyes.

Jason just nods at first, unable to find his words, but eventually he manages to rasp out a _‘good’._ Tim smiles, his shoulders sinking a little with relief.

“Good,” Tim repeats, “because we’re not done yet.”

Jason shivers, his attention returning to the box in his hands, and Tim pinches his nipples again, tugging at them a few times and then letting them go once more. He scrapes his nails across them before pulling back and reaching into the box to pull out the first clamp.

They’re nothing too fancy, just the kind with rubber-tipped ends and a little metal ring connecting the two sides to loosen and tighten them, but Tim figures it’s better to start small. Hanging from the bottom of each is a string of three small, red, weighted beads to help dress them up just a bit more. He holds it up for Jason to get a better view and feels his own cock twitch at the dark, aroused look in his sub’s eyes.

“You’re going to look so good for me, Jay,” Tim murmurs as he reaches for one of Jason’s nipples and pinches it tightly. He pulls it forward and slides the tweezer-points of the clamp up around it from underneath, and then he squeezes them shut as he slides the ring up to keep them in place. Jason gasps and instinctively tries to pull backwards, to move away, but he only causes himself more pain because Tim hasn’t let go of the clamp yet.

“Are you finished?” he asks, careful to keep any hint of irritation out of his voice, and Jason whimpers before giving a small nod. Tim says nothing further as he reaches for the second clamp and repeats the process, and then he leans back a little to surveille his handiwork.

He hums thoughtfully, reaching up to tap his chin.

“Something is still missing,” he comments, and then– 

“Ah, of course.” He takes the empty box from Jason and picks the lid back up off the ground, and then Tim stands and crosses back over to the bed. He drops the box back into his duffle bag and then digs around for the collar he’d brought with him.

It’s black and made of thick, buttery-soft leather, with a large metal d-ring attached to the front and two smaller ones at the back where the lock is. It’s a little wider than what Tim thinks will really suit Jason, but that’s why he’ll be ordering something special just for him. It will do for now.

The key is looped through the rings on a simple chain, and Tim carefully detaches it and then unlocks the collar so that he can open it. The key gets set on the side table next to Jason’s bed, and then Tim digs out a metal leash and clips it onto the front d-ring. He returns to where Jason is kneeling in wait and shows it to him with a patient smile.

“Raise your chin a bit higher, pet,” he instructs, and when Jason does so, Tim bends down and carefully wraps the collar around Jason’s throat before sliding the lock through the rings at the back and snapping it closed. Jason sucks in a sharp breath at the sound, and Tim presses a kiss to his forehead when he starts to pull back.

“Okay?” he asks, and Jason nods slowly.

“Thank you, Sir,” he whispers, and Tim ruffles his hair affectionately as he straightens. He curls the other end of the leash around his hand a few times, shortening the length of it, and then he starts to step back towards the bed. Jason takes the hint immediately, slowly shuffling forward on his knees until Tim reaches his destination and sits down on the side of the bed. He spreads his legs, and Jason settles between them and looks up at him with something bordering on naked desperation.

Tim’s breath catches at the sight, and he reaches his free hand out to cup Jason’s cheek.

“You want something, don’t you, darling?” he asks, his thumb brushing across Jason’s lower lip before he pushes it between them. Jason’s tongue flicks over the pad of it, and Tim hums. Jason whines and stares up into his eyes as he tries to suck Tim’s thumb further into his mouth.

Tim lets him, even helping him along as he slides it in deeper himself and strokes along the flat of his sub’s tongue.

“Put your hands behind your back,” he says, and Jason scrambles to obey, so eager to be good if it means he’ll be rewarded with Sir’s cock. Tim’s lips twitch and his eyes narrow. “Now, take my cock out.”

Jason blinks, whining around his thumb in confusion. He makes an aborted move to bring his hands back around, but Tim’s raised eyebrow stops that in its tracks.

“I’m waiting,” Tim huffs, and Jason lavs his tongue along Tim’s thumb one last time before he pulls off. Tim holds onto the bed to keep from reaching for Jason, and he chuckles when the sub leans forward and starts mouthing at the crotch of his pants. It takes several tries and a bout of frustrated whining, but eventually, he manages to catch the button just the right way on his tongue that he can use his mouth to push it back through the buttonhole.

Getting his teeth on the zipper and tugging it down takes only a few tries.

“Good boy,” Tim praises him when he gets that far, and Jason shudders and whines again. “You’re so eager to get to my cock, aren’t you, pet? Look at you.”

Jason whines yet again, his blush rising high enough that Tim can see it even from this angle. He pushes himself into it more eagerly, pressing closer and mouthing along Tim’s belly until he manages to get Tim’s underwear caught in his mouth. Tugging them down takes a few tries, but Tim’s cock finally bounces free, and Tim groans at the rush of cool air that hits it right before Jason’s warm breath does.

He shifts, working his pants and underwear down a little more comfortably now that Jason has done the hard part.

“Go on, then,” he says as he slides one hand into Jason’s hair and the other to the edge of the mattress, the leash still would around it. “Impress me.”

Jason, it seems, doesn’t need asking twice.

* * *

Jason is on Tim almost before the words even leave his mouth. He leans in and starts by dragging the flat of his tongue over Tim’s cock from the tip to the base and then kisses his way back down to the tip and swirls his tongue around it. Tim’s breath hitches, the fingers in Jason’s hair twitching but not tightening as his cock stirs. It doesn’t take long for him to reach full hardness with Jason licking his way all around the organ.

It’s only when he deems Tim hard enough that he returns to the tip and opens his mouth wide enough to sink down over it, enveloping Tim’s dick in the wet heat of his mouth. His tongue lavs along the underside as he sinks down and then pulls back again, bobbing on Tim’s cock like there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. He moans around it as he increases his pace and hollows out his cheeks to add more suction, and Tim gives a low groan in response.

Jason moans again, wanting more of that noise. More of that proof that Tim is enjoying this as much as he already is. The weight of Tim’s hard cock against his tongue has Jason’s own cock going fully erect, excitement spiking in his veins. He rolls his eyes up to try to see Tim’s face and finds his Dom’s eyes shut tightly and his head tipped back, his own mouth parted slightly around panting breaths. It sends a frisson of heat down Jason’s spine to know that he can get Tim worked up that quickly.

It’s almost like Tim knows he’s being watched, though, and his eyes snap open a moment later. He looks down, his expression turning fond for just a moment before it hardens. Jason’s stomach swoops with nervousness.

“I told you to impress me,” he says, and Jason whimpers almost pitifully as he forces himself to bob down farther, to take Tim deeper. “I thought you told me you liked to choke on a good dick, darling?”

Jason’s own cock _throbs,_ and he moans again as determination settles over him.

 _He needs to be better_. His Dom deserves more from him, and Jason knows he can provide it. It was selfish to want to take his time and savour it.

He shifts up a little higher in his kneel, straining at his thighs, and pushes himself down further on Tim’s cock. He gags a little, his eyes stinging when Tim hits the back of his throat, but pushes through it. He wobbles a little and locks his hands together where they’re still held behind his back so that he won’t try to use them for support. He moans again as Tim’s length slides down into his throat and hopes that the vibrations feel good, that they’ll be pleasing to his Dom.

“Better,” Tim mutters, and Jason’s eyes water with relief.

Or maybe it’s from the choking and gagging.

He bobs shallowly, then, keeping at least the head of Tim’s cock in his throat at all times as he takes it deeper again with each bob. A few times, he feels the fingers in his hair tighten in time with the low noises Tim starts to make. They’re low enough that Jason can barely hear them over the wet sound of suction and his own choking noises, but they’re there nonetheless, and Jason is desperate for more of them.

His throat feels like it’s being stretched so wide, and distantly, he thinks that he’s going to sound well and truly fucked out by the time they’re finished. But that’s okay. More than okay, really. Jason wants to carry the proof that this is _real_ with him for as long as he can. His speed increases with each bob, his breaths coming out short and sharp through his nose every time he tries to breath around the intrusion keeping his throat blocked, and Jason shuts his eyes when the tears start to come faster.

Finally, Tim’s fingers curl into his hair and give it a few sharp tugs before he starts pushing insistently against the back of Jason’s head. Jason swallows around him obediently, taking Tim even deeper until he can’t breathe at all. Tim’s hips stutter with aborted thrusts and then he’s tugging at Jason’s hair again, pulling him up over his cock and then pushing him back down. Over and over and over again.

Tim winds the leash tighter around his hand, forcing Jason to lean in even closer, and all Jason can do is take it, his throat vibrating with silenced moans as Tim uses him like his own personal cocksleeve, quickly and harshly fucking Jason’s mouth over his cock without ever sliding fully out of his throat. It’s good. It’s _perfect_ , everything he was hoping for when he told Tim what he liked.

Until it’s not.

Until it isn’t the open air of his bedroom at his back, but rather the rough brick of a grimy alley wall. Until the hand in his hair isn’t guiding him but rather holding him steady as a drunk, unfamiliar Dominant pounds into his mouth like he owns it, cracking Jason’s skull back against the bricks with each thrust until he’s not sure if it’s the lack of air or the blows to his head that are making him dizzy.

And then it just, stops. He coughs and gasps in air through a blessedly free airway and opens his eyes to blink away the dark, dizzy spots in his vision. It takes a moment for him to become aware of the cock that’s still in his mouth, weighing heavily against his tongue where it sits just shy of his throat. Drool spills down his chin as his mouth is forced to remain open while he catches his breath, and Jason can feel that his cheeks are tacky and wet with tears.

He blinks as his hearing returns, Tim’s low voice pushing back the droning buzz of static that had filled his ears.

“Jay, darling, look at me,” he’s saying, his panic well-masked but not completely hidden. Not to a sub who is too perceptive to every little emotion happening around him in his current state. He whimpers and instinctively closes his lips around Tim’s cock again, trying to stop himself from drooling so badly. There’s an obnoxious slurping sound as he tries to suck up his own mess, and Tim groans softly as Jason swallows.

“Jason,” he says again, a little bit breathless this time. “Jay, fuck. Look at me, pet.”

Jason rolls his eyes up to look at Tim through the curtain of his eyelashes, whining softly at the clear and attentive eyes staring back at him.

“There you are,” Tim coos as his hand slides back to cup the back of Jason’s neck. “You’re alright, sweetheart. You’re here with me now, aren’t you?”

Jason blinks, tears dripping from his lashes, and whines again.

He is. He’s here, he’s with Tim. He’s not in any danger here, not from anything except memories, at least.

His breathing stutters as a shudder runs through him, and Tim loosens the leash from around his hand before tucking the end under his thigh and letting it go. He reaches out, setting his palm on Jason’s forehead and then pushing his hair back and holding it out of the way.

“Look at me,” he says again, and Jason’s gaze snaps back to Tim’s face from where it had started to drift away. Tim’s gaze seems to bore into his for an eternity, but he must finally find what he’s looking for because he nods to himself. “You’re doing so good for me, Jay,” he praises, and Jason whimpers before trying to bob down on Tim’s cock again. The hand on his forehead stops him, pushing back gently until Jason stills with a petulant whine that makes Tim’s lips curl in amusement.

“Hush now,” he chastises, and Jason would pout if he could. He wants to tell Tim that it’s okay, that _he’s_ okay, it was just a momentary slip, but he’s back now. Even his breathing is nearly back to normal.

Tim’s eyes are practically glimmering, though, and Jason realises that Tim already knows he’s back. Anxiety and excitement twist in his gut in equal measure.

“Do you want something, Jay?” he asks coyly, and Jason gives an agitated whine as he tries to push forward again. “What’s that? You want me to stop?”

Jason tries to growl, but it comes out too pitiful to acknowledge. Instead, he shakes his head and hollows his cheeks even more, drags his tongue along Tim’s cock. Tim’s breath hitches, and Jason nearly hums with satisfaction.

“No?” Tim finally manages to say. “Well, if you insist, then.”

Jason doesn’t get anymore warning than that before Tim is angling himself to better thrust upwards into Jason’s mouth. He keeps his grip firm, preventing Jason from moving, and rolls his hips over and over again, the head of his cock constantly hitting up against the back of Jason’s throat but never sliding any deeper. Jason’s whines of protest slowly get lost under the constant gagging and choking noises the abuse to his tonsils and uvula causes.

His jaw goes lax eventually, mouth opening to allow his spit to spill over his bottom lip once more, and he just lets it happen. Tim’s own breathing starts to grow harsh after a while, his cheeks flushing from exertion and arousal, and Jason eagerly prepares himself for what he knows is coming soon.

Except he’d been preparing to swallow, preparing for Tim to shove in deeper and cum down his throat, but suddenly breathing comes _too_ easily and he’s choking on the rush of air as Tim lets go of his neck and grabs onto his cock, instead, jerking it off furiously as his other hand keeps Jason’s head tipped slightly back.

Jason gives a moan of despair and opens his mouth wider, flicks his tongue out to try and swipe at the head of Tim’s cock. It doesn’t bring him any mercy. Tim comes with a loud moan a few seconds later, and Jason’s own cock throbs eagerly and insistently as warm cum splashes over his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, as a streak of it spatters over his upper lip and down onto his tongue. Some of it even ends up on his neck.

Tim’s hand slows to a stop after a while, after every last drop has been wrung out of him, and Jason keens as he tries to push forwards once more. With a huff, Tim finally lets go of him, groaning softly when Jason’s mouth wraps around his sensitive dick once more and starts to suck it clean.

“God, you really are a little cockslut aren’t you, darling?” he teases, and Jason feels his cheeks burning but he doesn’t stop until he’s sure that he’s cleaned up everything he can. Reluctantly, he pulls back, dropping a kiss to Tim’s flagging cock as he goes, and Tim chuckles.

“White suits you,” he says, and Jason’s blush only darkens. He wants to reach up, wants to wipe his face clean and then lick the mess from his hands, but the thought of showing Tim exactly how much of a w- of a _slut_ he is makes shame unfurl in his belly, warm and insistent.

“Please,” he tries to say instead, but the word comes out raspy and unintelligible, scraping against his raw throat on the way.

“Sweetheart,” Tim murmurs sympathetically, “you’ve gone and wrecked your throat.”

Jason whines, his eyes going wide and pleading, and he wonders if he looks as wrecked as he feels. His eyes are still wet from crying, and he wonders if they’re glassy, too. If he looks dazed and debauched like the subs in porn always do.

Whatever he looks like, it must not be _bad,_ at least, because Tim’s gaze darkens in response and his lips curl around a smirk.

Jason finds himself with a chill running down his spine.

* * *

Jason looks utterly _wrecked_ , and something dark and thrilled curls warm in Tim’s gut at the sight.

He did that.

He made Jason into a needy, desperate mess with only his cock, and he wants to do it again. And again, and again. Jason’s mouth was skilled and perfect and warm, and Tim wonders how he’s meant to keep himself out of it. If he had his way, he’d never leave it. He’d keep Jason between his legs forever, make him into Tim’s own personal cockwarmer. His mouth always opened for when Tim is ready to slide into that hot, slick cavern.

If Jason were any other sub, Tim would say as much, too. Would tell him how he’s so perfect like this, twist him into believing he only ever wants to do this, wants to please his Dom by sucking his cock forever. It wouldn’t be a real truth, of course, but it would _feel_ real, and Tim would get off on Jason’s eager agreement. His wholehearted submission to Tim’s desires.

But Tim doesn’t know if he can trust Jason to know that it’s a pretty lie, an act, part of the scene, and so he won’t risk it, even when the words are on the tip of his tongue.

Instead, he reaches out and hooks two of his fingers into the ring on Jason’s collar and drags him up until Jason is in a high kneel, their faces almost level with one another. His other hand lifts to Jason’s cheek, palm cupping it as his thumb swipes through a string of cum and starts rubbing it into his sub’s skin. Marking him. _Claiming_ him.

Jason gives a low whimper, pressing into his touch. His cock twitches where it’s standing at attention, thick and hard between his legs, and Tim smirks. He tugs Jason closer and brushes a kiss over his lips and then he gives Jason’s cheek a condescending little pat.

“Looks like you have a bit of a problem, pet,” he simpers, and Jason gives another low whine, his cheeks flushed bright and his eyes going half-lidded. Tim drops his hand to the sub’s dick, wrapping his palm around it and giving it a slow tug from root to tip. Jason bucks into his grip with a moan, and Tim chuckles.

“You’re really this hard from sucking my cock, sweetheart?” he asks, giving another slow stroke with his hand. “You like choking on Sir’s cock so much it makes your cute dick all flushed and needy?”

Jason moans again, and Tim imagines it sounds a little embarrassed, a little ashamed.

He strokes Jason’s cock once more before letting it go with a chuckle.

“How cute,” he coos, and Jason makes a needy little noise in the back of his throat as his hips rock forward, seeking Tim’s touch.

“Ah-ah,” Tim tells him. “Not yet, Jay. Good boys wait until they’re told to come.”

Jason’s cock twitches in response, and his sub gives a breathless gasp, his lashes fluttering as he closes his eyes. “Please,” he breathes, and Tim sighs.

“That’s very pretty begging, darling,” he praises, and Jason’s eyes open to give him a hopeful look. “But no.”

That hope is dashed immediately, replaced with something wounded and betrayed, and Tim’s own cock gives a valiant little twitch of interest. He smiles at Jason, tugging at his collar once more before sliding his fingers free, and then he brings both hands to Jason’s chest. He drops his gaze to follow them, his tongue darting out to wet his own lips as he takes in just how flushed those rosy, pert nipples are from being trapped as long as they have been.

“Your tits look so good in your new jewelry, Jay,” he tells him as his thumbs brush over the sensitive nubs in a gentle, barely-there caress. Jason keens nonetheless, his chest shivering and stuttering as he tries to simultaneously pull away and press into the touch. Tim’s thumbs press down harder the next time, pushing Jason’s caught nipples in circles until the sub is making high, choked-off noises in his throat with every movement.

Precum beads up at the tip of Jason’s cock, leaving a sticky trail down towards the floor, and Tim moves to grab onto the clamps themselves instead.

“You like them too, don’t you?” he asks, and Jason gives a pitiful whine in response. Tim raises his eyebrow and gives the clamps both a sharp tug that makes Jason gasp, his eyes going wide as he bucks his hips forward, smearing the wet head of his cock against the sheets of the bed.

“What did I say about you answering my questions?”

Jason moans, rutting forwards again to seek friction against the mattress, and Tim scowls and tugs on the clamps again. Jason stills with another pitiful sound and looks at Tim through watering eyes.

“Y-yes, Sir,” he says, high and frantic. “I do. Sir, please, I do like them. Thank you. Thank you, they’re so nice.”

Tim’s expression softens, a smile spreading across his face, and he leans forward to press a kiss to Jason’s sweaty brow. “Good boy,” he murmurs against his skin, and Jason lets out a shuddering breath. Tim pulls back and then grabs at the abandoned leash with one hand as he pats the mattress with the other.

“Come here,” he orders. “Up on the bed, Jay. On your back.”

Jason scrambles to obey, climbing up onto the bed and crawling towards the middle of it. Tim watches him go, swatting at his bare ass once as he passes, and Jason lets out the most delicious yelp as he pauses, his ass pushing back as if to ask for more. Tim chuckles lowly but gives him no such release, and Jason gives a dejected, mournful sigh as he rolls over and lays down on the bed. His cock is flushed so beautifully, dark with need as it curves up towards Jason’s toned belly, and Tim desperately wants to sink down onto it.

But, no. That’s not the plan.

He stands slowly, tucking himself back into his underwear before stripping off his pants, and drops the leash onto the bed for the moment as he moves down to dig through his bag again. Jason watches his every movement through hazy eyes, and Tim has to take a few deep breaths to centre himself so he doesn’t just jump on top of the sub and start ravaging him.

He sorts through the bag, pausing over the cockring for a moment before deciding he wants to get a proper gage of Jason’s own restraint first. He takes out the bottle of lube instead, tossing it onto the mattress so that it bounces and lands next to Jason’s hip, and then he moves the duffle bag onto the floor. The bag from the store he’d visited that afternoon gets picked up and moved closer to the head of the bed so that he’ll have easy access to it later.

Tim crawls onto the bed himself then, moving to straddle Jason’s thighs, and he takes a minute just to admire everything that’s in front of him. To admire the beautiful, strong, brave sub who has chosen to trust Tim with this most sacred duty, who has placed himself into Tim’s care despite a lifetime of fear. It reminds him just how much is on the line, how one wrong move could do far more damage than just breaking the scene or leaving either of them unsatisfied. He has the power, right now, to make or break this for Jason. To hurt him so badly that he’ll never be willing to try this again with anyone.

Tim can’t let that happen.

It’s a heavy weight on his shoulders, but it’s one that he’s honoured to bear.

“How are you doing, pet?” he asks softly, and Jason blinks heavily as he stares up at him. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he manages to get anything out.

“Green,” he finally manages, and then, “Sir.”

Tim beams at him and strokes his palm over Jason’s abdomen, feeling the muscles jump under his touch.

“Good,” he says. “That’s good, darling.” He bites his lip for a moment, not wanting to overdo it on the caution, but decides it’s worth the risk. “You need to tell me if that changes, Jay.”

Jason’s gaze roams back and forth over his face slowly before he nods, and something eases in Tim’s chest.

He reaches for the bottle of lube then, opening it up and squeezing some of the cold gel out onto Jason’s cock, which jerks and seems to shiver under the temperature change. Jason gasps sharply. Tim snaps the bottle closed and sets it aside, and then he curls his hand around the head of Jason’s cock and strokes downward, spreading the lube down his length. Jason moans and bucks his hips, and Tim’s other hand moves to hold him in place as he slowly works the other up and down Jason’s dick.

“Feels good, doesn’t it, sweetheart?” he coos, and Jason nods and moans again, gasps out a broken _‘please’._ Tim just smiles placidly at him as he lets go only to bring his hand back down to the base. He strokes upwards once more, letting his hand slide off completely before repeating the process at a maddeningly slow pace.

Jason starts squirming beneath him within the first minute, his hips starting to lift with every stroke until Tim pushes down on his hip. Pearls of precum are squeezed from his slit with every few passes, and Tim hums before hunching down and dragging his tongue across the head to lick it up.

Jason nearly screams at that, his cry loud and sharp and vibrating off the walls, and when he manages to buck against Tim’s grip, Tim simply pulls back to keep his mouth out of Jason’s reach. Jason sobs desperately, his head tossing against the pillow beneath it as he settles into a matra of _‘pleasepleaseSirplease’._

Tim pushes his hips back down and goes back to jerking him off with those long, slow strokes, and Jason sobs harder for a few seconds before he valiantly tries to reign himself in, his sobs and pleas turning into wet, stuttering gasps as he presses his fist to his mouth to try and quiet himself.

For a few minutes longer, Tim keeps at it. It’s only when he sees the muscles in Jason’s abdomen starting to flex and Jason’s balls starting to draw up tighter against his body that he stops and lets go entirely. Jason keens, gasping out a broken little _‘no’_ that sounds so hurt and devastated, and Tim pets at his thigh gently.

“Shh,” he soothes. “Shh, darling. You’re fine. You’re going to wait a little longer for me, aren’t you?”

Jason keens again and shakes his head. “No,” he whines. “No, please.”

Tim makes a sympathetic noise and pets his thigh once more before he starts to slide backwards, nudging Jason’s legs apart to fit between them.

“No?” he asks, because he swore he would, though he suspects Jason may not mean it quite so firmly in this case. “Are you sure you mean that?”

Jason seems confused for a moment, but Tim watches as understanding sparks in his eyes. He bites his lip for a moment, and then shakes his head.

“With your words,” Tim prompts.

“No, Sir,” Jason whimpers. “I didn’t mean it.”

Tim smiles at him, warm pride blooming in his chest, and he nods.

“Then you can wait,” he says decisively. “You don’t need it that badly.” Jason whimpers, sounding miserable, but he doesn’t protest, and Tim has to bite back on the smirk that wants to curl his lips. “Legs up, pet. Hold them to your chest.”

Jason obeys almost sluggishly, dragging the soles of his feet up the mattress as he bends his legs and then slowly curling them back towards his chest and holding them in place with his hands below his knees.

“Good boy,” Tim praises him, trying not to sound as distracted as he feels. Which is very, very distracted, thanks to the sight of Jason’s tight hole put so perfectly on display for him. Tim groans as he stretches himself out, laying down even though it means his feet are hanging off of the bed. He slides his hands under Jason’s ass and drags his sub closer until the tip of his nose brushes against Jason’s sac, and then he’s flicking his tongue out and dragging it along Jason’s perineum to the satisfying sound of the sub sucking in a sharp breath and letting it out as a long, reedy moan.

* * *

Jason’s mind is awash with nothing but pleasure and sensation as Tim toys with him. His cock throbs painfully with every pass of Tim’s tongue over sensitive flesh, eager for the release it’s been denied.

Laying down has taken some of the weight and pressure off of his chest, but his nipples are still numb to the point of soreness, agitated slightly by every heaving breath he takes. Suddenly, Tim’s tongue is gone, replaced with the light scraping of teeth against his taint, and Jason arches desperately, his back lifting off the bed as his shoulders dig in deeper. Starbursts of colour fill his eyes as he squeezes them shut and gasps through it, but as soon as he finally starts to settle, Tim has moved on once more, the hot point of his tongue probing at Jason’s hole.

Jason cries out before biting down on his tongue in embarrassment, his hips rocking almost restlessly as he tries to demand _more_. Tim’s nails dig into his ass in warning, and Jason tries to hold himself still, though he doesn’t completely succeed. His effort doesn’t go unacknowledged, though, and Tim pulls back to breathe out a soft _‘good boy’_ before he dives back in, his tongue swirling around the tight ring of muscle before stabbing through it and making Jason’s back arch once more.

It’s easy to lose himself in the feeling as Tim’s tongue thrusts in and out of his hole, fucking in a little deeper each time until he’s sure the Dom must be pressed up against him as close as he can get. The scrape of teeth against his rim confirms it, and Jason moans wantonly as his precum leaks down his cock in a distracting, sticky trail that Jason can track all the way down to the base in his mind.

Eventually, Tim’s hands slide out from beneath him, and Jason whimpers as the tips of Tim’s thumbs dig in on either side of his hole and _pull_ , stretching him open wider as Tim continues to eat him out. It sounds _filthy,_ wet and slurping as Tim tries in vain to control the drool spilling from his mouth to drip down the crack of Jason’s ass.

It feels like it goes on forever, time stretching out into an eternity as the thick, wet muscle slides in and out of him, licking and stroking along his walls and swirling around his rim. Jason’s cock is so hard it hurts, but he’s been told not to come, and as much as it pains him, the order also helps him keep his orgasm at bay until his mind is blank of everything except the thought of needing to be good. The thought that, by not coming, that’s what he’s doing.

It settles something deep inside of him, allowing him to relax and physically sink into the mattress beneath him as his mind sinks into something else. There’s a flash of panic as he does, the sensation of breath catching in his chest and the walls closing in on him, but a few seconds later it’s pushed away by a comforting haze that feels like safety, and bliss, and _goodness_. There’s no pain here, not even the dull throb of his aching dick, and Jason breathes out a soft, happy sigh.

There’s nothing for him to do here, and it’s perfect. He’s his Dom’s responsibility now.

* * *

Between one moment and the next, Jason’s body seems to go utterly lax, his legs lowering slightly as his grip on his knees slackens. The insistent squirming and arching off of the bed ceases, and his breathing trails into soft, panting gasps of air.

A fire lights in Tim’s chest at that, lit by pride and a sense of accomplishment, and Tim greedily fucks into Jason’s ass with his tongue a few moments longer simply because he can. As he pulls back and wipes his wet mouth and chin off on the back of his arm, the weight of responsibility hits him, and Tim feels his own breath catch and stutter as he forces himself to sit up.

Jason looks relaxed and blissed out, and Tim’s Dom instincts roar with satisfaction even as he registers the vulnerability he’s being trusted with. He shifts forward slowly, his hands curling gently around Jason’s ankles for a moment before sliding up his calves. Jason’s breathing stutters and then evens out again, his eyes blinking open though they’re hazy and unfocused enough that Tim’s not sure he’s tracking much of anything.

“You’re being so good for me, darling,” he murmurs as he slowly eases Jason’s hands away from his knees and helps him lower his legs until his feet are resting against the mattress, his knees still bent. Jason shivers and mewls softly, his gaze slowly shifting to Tim’s face as a dopey smile spreads across his face. It only lasts a moment, though, and then Jason’s attention drifts away again.

Tim pets him gently, stroking over his thighs and his belly, and he makes sure to keep one hand on his sub at all times as he pushes up to reach over him. He grabs a pillow first, and slides it under Jason’s hips with only a bit of coaxing, and then reaches again for the shopping bag before he returns to his previous position. One hand continues to stroke back and forth over Jason’s abdomen as the other reaches into the bag and pulls out the vibrator he’d purchased just for Jason.

A thrill runs down his spine at the thought of how well Jason has gone down for him, how easy he’s being now. How _distracted._

Despite being brand new, Tim had still taken the time to slip into the kitchen and clean it at the sink when Jason had been busy with the laundry, and he’d added the batteries at the time, too. He’s glad he did now, because Jason certainly hadn’t given him much of a chance to prepare the way Tim had been expecting him to.

It’s a shame that he couldn’t set the scene a little better, but all’s well that ends well.

Tim drops the bag off the side of the bed and then he leans down, pressing a kiss to Jason’s belly.

“Such a good boy, Jay,” he coos as he slowly lets go of him, replacing the soft touches with a litany of praise to keep the sub grounded by his voice, instead. “Look at you, darling. You’re so lovely, so good at letting Sir take care of you.” Jason whines softly, his lashes fluttering around every slow blink as he tries to look at Tim, and Tim smiles serenely down at him before he shifts to looking at the toy in his hands.

He grabs the lube and quickly slicks the body of the vibrator up. “I’ve got something special for you, pet,” he says, and Jason hums with contentment. “You’re going to be good and enjoy it for me, aren’t you?” Jason hums again, a little too far gone for words right now, and Tim takes a moment to look at him. To read the lack of tension in his body, the easy cadence of his breathing.

He doesn’t want to miss even the slightest sign of trouble. Fortunately, even in their platonic scenes, Jason is not often the most verbal sub, and Tim thinks he’s gotten pretty skilled at reading him.

Satisfied with the fact that Jason is doing well, Tim brings the vibrator down Jason’s shiney, slick hole and nudges the tip of it in. It’s tapered, thinner at the tip and thickening further towards the base, and it slides in easily enough to begin with. Jason gasps at the feeling, his muscles tensing, and Tim pauses, counting the pounding beats of his own heart for three, four, five beats before Jason goes limp and lets out a moan.

Tim takes it as permission to continue.

“You’re doing so good,” he encourages as he slides the toy in deeper until he starts to meet resistance against the widening length. He pulls it back out by about and inch and then rocks it forwards again, repeating the action as many times as it takes until Jason’s body has stretched to accommodate the entire length of the toy.

The slight curve of the body should have it nudging right up against Jason’s prostate, and Tim’s stomach tightens with eagerness and arousal as he pets over Jason’s belly again.

“Good boy,” he praises. “You’re so perfect, Jay, look at that. You took that so well for me.” He trails his fingertips along Jason’s inner thigh, delighting at the way the muscles quiver under his touch. “Do you want to see what it does, darling?” he asks, fingers trailing across Jason’s crotch next, the tips ghosting around the base of Jason’s cock before stroking down his perineum until they reach the place where the vibrator’s handle sticks out of him. He taps at his absently and raises a brow.

“Jason,” he nearly purrs. “Do you want to try out your gift?”

Jason keens, his rim flexing around the girth of the toy as his legs start to fall sideways, opening wider in invitation.

“Good boy,” Tim tells him again, and Jason blushes from his cheeks down to his chest, the pink spreading beautifully over his skin. “Such an eager little pet, aren’t you?” Jason gives a low moan that sounds a lot like agreement, and Tim reaches for the handle of the vibrator and turns it on, immediately clicking to the second setting.

Jason jolts beneath him, his eyes flying open as his mouth parts around a strangled, shocked moan. Tim’s dick makes itself known again, jerking excitedly in his underwear as Jason’s hands reach out to his sides to curl into the blankets.

“Uhn,” he gasps dumbly, his eyes wide as they seek out Tim. He moans again, lashes fluttering as his eyes roll back, and he rocks his hips down only to gasp again and then try to pull away. The soles of his feet slide against the sheets as he tries unsuccessfully to pull away from the insistent buzzing against his prostate, and Tim watches him hungrily, _greedily_ , his pulse quickening with dark arousal as Jason struggles against the sudden spike of stimulation that he hadn’t been expecting.

“You like that, pet?” he asks, and Jason keens again as he stops trying to squirm away and sinks down against the bed and pants instead. “It feels nice, doesn’t it?” Jason’s lips part, but nothing comes out except for those desperate puffs of breath, and Tim’s grin twists into something a little darker.

“It’s rude not to thank someone for a gift, Jason,” he chastises, and Jason’s eyes well with tears as he rocks against the toy once more. “Is it not strong enough for you, darling?”

Jason whimpers, his head shaking frantically as he starts to come back to himself, starts to regain control of his body once more.

“Th-thank you, S _ir_ ,” he gasps, his voice rising higher as Tim reaches down and clicks it up to the next setting, the speed of the vibrations increasing even more.

“Yeah, that’s better, isn’t it?”

Tim chuckles and reaches for the lube once more, squirting some out onto his fingers before he reaches for Jason’s cock and starts stroking it. Jason gasps and thrusts up into his touch before grinding back down against the toy, his gasps turning into frantic whines as he can’t decide which sensation he wants more of.

Tim keeps his strokes slower like he had early, teasing Jason closer and closer to the edge once more. Jason’s cock leaks and jerks as his prostate is milked, and Tim periodically teases his thumb over the head, his nail digging into the messy slit before retreating, and Jason’s whines slowly taper into sobs.

“Do you want to come, Jay?” he asks eventually, and Jason is nodding before he’s even finished asking, trying desperately to make his pleas comprehensible around his cries and moans. “You do, huh?” Tim chuckles and brings his other hand to Jason’s balls, cupping and rolling them gently as he continues to jerk him off. “Well, pet, I think you’re going to want to hear me out before you doing anything rash,” he says, and Jason’s next whine sounds distinctly inquisitive.

“You can come, Jay,” Tim tells him, and Jason sucks in a breath of relief only to choke on it as Tim continues, “ _but_ you’re only coming once tonight.” Jason sobs, sounding devastated, and Tim’s own cock throbs painfully in his underwear. He forces himself to ignore it and continue. “That can be now, darling,” he says, “I know how badly you want it. I can _see_ it, Jay. Your balls are so full, aren’t they? You poor thing.”

He squeezes gently at Jason’s sac as he talks, his thumb massaging firmly into one of them, and Jason sobs again. Tim hushes him quietly, and leans in to lick the head of Jason’s cock, tasting the mess of precum dripping from it. He groans at the taste, and Jason mewls frantically as he tries to thrust up before Tim can pull back. Tim, of course, is faster.

“I’m still going to fuck you after this, pet,” he finally continues, a promise and a warning all rolled up into one, “and if you come now, and then you come again on my cock, you’re going to be in a world of trouble. So what’s it going to be, Jay?”

Jason sobs beneath him, thrusting up desperately into Tim’s palm where it’s still curled around his length, and Tim just lets him.

“Are you going to come, sweetheart?” he asks, his tone almost innocent as he goes back to jerking Jason off. “Go on, Jay. I know you want to.”

He squeezes the sub’s balls one last time before letting them go, continuing to stroke him off until the very last minute when he sees Jason’s body starting to tense in anticipation of climax. He lets go abruptly, and Jason lets out a frustrated scream as he reaches for himself and grabs the base of his cock tightly with one hand as the other grasps his balls and squeezes hard.

Tim swears softly, watching through dark eyes as Jason’s body convulses around his climax, his cock twitching and jerking but spilling nothing. Jason sobs through it, his chest heaving with exertion and pain as he holds his release at bay as best he can, and then immediately collapses, sagging back against the bed as he sobs. The sound of it is nearly enough to drown out the buzzing of the vibrator still merrily buzzing away against over-sensitive nerves.

As the vibrations continue with no reprieve, Jason’s sobs start to grow higher and more frantic, but Tim doesn’t turn it off until Jason starts writhing, his noises growing more pained than overwhelmed. He turns it off quickly at that point, sliding the toy out of Jason completely and moving to his side.

“Darling,” he coos, his hand reaching for Jason’s tear-stained cheek despite being covered in sticky lube. “Jason, sweetheart, shh,” he murmurs as he strokes his thumb along Jason’s cheek. “Shh, sweetheart. I’m right here. You did so good, pet. So, _so_ good, I’m so proud of you.”

Jason sobs and starts to curl sideways, rolling onto his side to plaster himself against Tim’s stomach.

Tim’s veins feel like they have ice in them, and he curses himself for thinking the first time was the right time to push that hard. What happened to starting slow?

“Oh, darling, I’m so sorry,” he whispers as he wraps an arm around Jason’s broad shoulders and slides a hand into his hair to cup the back of his head. “Shh, shh, everything is fine. Talk to me, sweetheart, c’mon, it’s okay.”

It takes a few long, torturous moments that Tim spends mentally recriminating himself before Jason manages to speak around his sobs.

“I’m-m o-o-okay,” he manages to stutter out, but Tim isn’t particularly convinced.

“Jay,” he starts, fully prepared to tell him that he doesn’t have to pretend, that it’s okay if he’s done, if it’s time to tap out, but then Jason shakes his head against him roughly.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his voice as even and neutral as he can keep it so that Jason hopefully won’t feel obligated to answer one way or the other or pick up on Tim’s own rising panic.

“Y-y-yes, S-sir,” Jason stutters, and Tim’s own eyes water as he clutches the sub closer. “N-not bad, j-just… a lot.”

Tim nods, swallowing roughly as he scolds himself once more for pushing so hard. He should have known better.

“Okay,” he says finally, folding himself down over his sub despite the discomfort so that he can brush a kiss over Jason’s temple before sitting upright again. “Okay, Jay, you take as long as you need. I’m right here, darling. Not going anywhere.” Tim hopes his voice carries the sincerity that he feels, because he means it.

The world could be falling apart around them, and Tim would let it all burn before he’d step away from Jason’s side right now.

* * *

Jason tries to control his breathing, to slow his sobs, but it’s proving to be a lot harder than he’d like. It makes him feel frustrated and a little agitated, and he wonders what Tim must be thinking right now. If he’s disappointed or annoyed, if he thinks Jason’s being _difficult._

He hates it.

Things were good. Hell, things were _great_. He’s _never_ been able to achieve that kind of state during sex before, he’s always barreled straight past that safe space into the darkness and terror of a drop or been completely up with no real risk of either.

Although, come to think of it, he supposes that’s not entirely true. When he first started having sex - by _choice_ \- there had been hiccups. Panic attacks. Moments where he’d needed his partner to back off for a few minutes and give him space.

He doesn’t want Tim to give him space, though, not right now.

The arm Tim has wrapped around him feels like the only thing keeping him from actually slipping into something worse.

It isn’t fair.

He was _enjoying_ himself. It was hard, yes. It was a challenge, but he wanted to rise to it, wanted to impress Tim and show the Dom how good he could be. Wanted to please him with his obedience.

It wasn’t a bad intense.

But it was still intense. Intense in a way he isn’t used to, he supposes, because he’s played with orgasm control while he was up, but it was _different_. It was just fun, no stakes. It didn’t _matter_ if he failed. It wasn’t a sub disappointing their Dom; it was just two friends having fun and testing their limits, seeing what they could take.

But he’d thought, for a sharp, terrifying moment, that he was going to fail. That he was going to disappoint Tim, that he was going to be _bad_ , and.

And it was like it didn’t matter that he didn’t, because the fear of failure was strong enough without the evidence of it.

Jason shivers and presses himself closer to Tim, curling around the Dom’s folded legs with his own body, and Tim’s hand pauses in his hair for a moment before he goes back to the soothing massage he’d started up a few minutes earlier.

He’d ruined things anyway, even without failing the actual task he’d been given.

Surely once he calmed down, Tim would give him an apologetic, pitying look and say that they were done, that this was a fruitless experiment and they had failed. That it was a mistake to even try. The thought makes Jason start sobbing all over again.

“Shh,” Tim hushes him, so, so gently. So patiently. “Everything’s alright, Jay. Nothing bad is going to happen, I’ve got you.”

Everything’s not alright, though, because Jason has ruined it all.

He whines pitifully, sniffling to try and control his tears.

“S-sorry,” he rasps, and Tim clutches him even tighter.

“For what?” he asks sharply, and Jason shudders.

“Ruined it,” he says, and it’s a wonder Tim can even hear him with how tightly he has his face pressed against Tim’s stomach.

Tim makes a noise above him, sounding hurt and a bit displeased, and Jason winces.

“You did no such thing,” Tim insists, and when Jason doesn’t respond, he starts to pull away. Jason reaches for him frantically, and Tim pauses before letting out a shaking breath. “Jason, darling, can you look at me?”

Jason shakes his head, burrowing closer to Tim, and the Dom sighs.

“Okay,” he says, and just. Goes right back to petting Jason like he has been all along. “You haven’t ruined anything, darling,” he says after a moment. “In fact, you’ve been absolutely perfect. I’m so proud of you, Jay. Thank you for letting me know how you were feeling. I should have known better than to push you so hard. You did nothing wrong.”

“Neither did you,” Jason whines. “I _liked_ it,”

Tim hums noncommittally, and Jason huffs out an annoyed breath.

“I did,” he insists. “It wasn’t you. It was my stupid brain.”

“You’re not stupid, Jason,” Tim murmurs, sounding sad. “You’re hurt. There’s a very big difference.”

It’s Jason’s turn to hum noncommittally, and Tim chuckles softly in response.

“How are you feeling now?” he asks eventually, and Jason pauses, taking stock.

“...better,” he finally says. “Embarrassed.”

“You don’t need to be,” Tim tells him earnestly, “but it’s okay that you are.”

Jason’s breath catches at that, fresh tears welling in his eyes faster than he can blink them away. Tim lets him have another moment to himself, and Jason breathes in and out slowly, pulling himself back together.

“Do we have to stop?” he asks, his voice sounding so much smaller than he’s ever heard himself.

Tim’s fingers slip free of his hair and move to trail down the side of his face instead, and Jason leans into it slightly.

“Is that what you want to do?”

“No.”

 _Please believe me_ , Jason thinks. _I mean it. Please believe me._

“Then I don’t think we have to, no,” Tim replies haltingly.

Jason frowns and forces himself to finally pull back. To finally look up at his Dom, and.

Tim looks _wrecked_ , and Jason’s gut twists, because he did that. He put that look there. That haunted, self-loathing look that Tim isn’t quick enough to wipe away is _his_ fault.

“Do _you_ want to stop?” Jason makes himself ask.

Tim blinks, expression morphing into one of genuine surprise before it softens into fondness. He reaches out and cups Jason’s cheek, meeting his gaze as he says, “no, Jay. I just want to give you what you need.”

Jason’s eyes mist over _again_ , and, Jesus, he’s getting sick of that.

How did he end up with someone like Tim?

A hesitant smile curls at his lips, and Jason pushes himself up into a proper sitting position so that he can lean forward and steal a kiss.

“The only thing I need is you,” he breathes, and the flush that spreads across Tim’s cheeks in response is the most beautiful thing he thinks he’s ever seen.

* * *

Tim’s heart feels funny, but he’s pretty sure it’s not in a bad way. Not, like, a heart-attack way. Just.

He’d known, of course. He’d known how Jason felt about him, but a part of him must have still doubted it, must not have truly _understood_ it.

 _The only thing I need is you_.

Tim stares at Jason for several long seconds as he processes those words, as they settle over him, and then he lunges forward, knocking Jason backwards so that they’re sprawled awkwardly across the bed in the wrong direction. He kisses him hard, desperate to make sure Jason understands that he feels the same way, and Jason seems stunned for a moment, but then he’s returning the kiss just as desperately.

His fingers come up to work at the buttons of Tim’s shirt, and Tim sits up to help him, fumbling with the higher buttons until everything is undone and the shirt is slipping off over his shoulders. He dives back down to reclaim Jason’s lips then, and when his hand slides down to Jason’s neck and catches on the thick collar still wrapped around it, he shudders. His fingers seek out the chains of his leash, and Tim curls it around his hand and sits up, tugging at the leash to force Jason to follow him.

Jason’s eyes blow wide in response, a soft moan slipping past his lips as Tim drags him by the leash until he’s sitting completely upright and then kisses him again.

“Oh, pet,” he purrs, “I think we were in the middle of something, weren’t we?”

Jason moans again, his breath ghosting hot against Tim’s lips, and Tim smirks before pushing at Jason’s shoulder.

“Where you were,” he says, and then they’re both shuffling around on the bed so Jason can lay down in the middle once more.

Tim helps him settle the pillow beneath him again and then contorts himself a bit awkwardly to pull his underwear off without getting off the bed. Jason groans, his gaze immediately honing in on Tim’s cock. It’s only semi-hard, having flagged a bit in the interim, but Jason clearly still likes what he sees, if the way he bites his lip and flexes his hole are any indication.

“Sir, please,” he gasps, and Tim grins down at him with a predatorial curve of his lips that isn’t all too unlike his Red Robin smile. Jason shivers, and Tim wonders if his instincts are telling him to run, telling him that he’s the mouse caught in the sights of a bird of prey.

Tim settles himself between Jason’s legs and nudges them wider apart, and then he’s reaching for the bottle of lube lying abandoned in the creased bedsheets and slicking up his fingers. Jason gasps in anticipation, his hips lifting even before Tim lowers his hand between Jason’s legs, and the sub whimpers and shivers again when Tim starts tracing around his rim with a finger covered in the cool gel.

“Relax for me, pet,” he coos as he circles Jason’s rim a few times before teasing just the tip of his index finger inside. “Easy, darling. That’s it. Let me in, Jay. Let Sir give you what you need.”

Jason moans and clenches around his fingertip rather than relaxing, and Tim huffs out an amused laugh.

“Greedy,” he teases, and Jason pouts up at him before tipping his head back and gasping as Tim forces his finger in to the second knuckle. “Shh, shh. Relax,” he coos again, pausing until Jason finally starts to do so. “Good boy. You need to take these first if you want to take my cock, darling. That’s it.”

Jason moans at the mention of actually being fucked, and Tim slides his finger in the rest of the way only to immediately pull it back out. He repeats the motion a few times before experimentally curling the digit inside his sub and rubbing at the tight, hot walls of his passage. Jason clenches around him, and Tim smirks. The next time he slides his finger free, he pushes back in with two and promptly sets a quick pace, fucking them in and out of Jason’s hole until he can feel his sub loosening around him.

He adds a third eventually, curling his fingers and probing around until Jason gives a sharp cry, his toes curling as he arches off the bed. Tim grins darkly and starts massaging at Jason’s already-abused prostate, though he tries to be conscious of not overdoing it. The last thing he wants to do is cause a repeat of what had happened earlier.

This time, he only rubs at the sensitive bundle of nerves until Jason’s cock is fully hard once more, until Jason is moaning more than he’s outright breathing, and then he uncurls his fingers to resume fucking Jason’s hole open. By the time he’s sliding his pinky in alongside the other three fingers, Jason is begging and pleading, his legs opening to wrap around Tim’s body and try to pull him closer.

“So impatient,” Tim teases, and Jason freezes for a moment and then whines desperately and bucks down hard against Tim’s fingers. “What’s the matter, pet? Are you not full enough already?”

Jason shakes his head and tightens his legs again, and Tim smirks.

“What do you want, Jay?” Tim curls his fingers just slightly where they’re trapped inside of Jason, lets his nails scrape against his sensitive walls. He teases his thumb along the sub’s taint. “Do you want the rest of my hand, darling?”

“N-no,” Jason stammers around another groan, his cock jerking in betrayal of how he apparently feels about that idea. “W-want. Your cock. Please. Sir, please. Please fuck me. Please, I need it. I’ll be good, please, I’ll be so good.”

Tim swears as his own cock throbs, and then he leans forward with a growl, his fingers shoving harder and faster into Jason’s hole every time he pulls them back out. Jason gives a strangled moan, and Tim swallows it with a kiss, licking eagerly into the sub’s mouth.

He bites at Jason’s lip when he pulls back, scraping his teeth along sensitive skin hard enough to draw blood, and Jason moans and clenches tightly around his fingers.

“Please,” he practically sobs. “Please fuck me!”

“You’re so pretty when you beg, darling,” Tim tells him, and Jason only sobs again. “Don’t worry, pet. I’m going to give you what you need. You’ve been such a good boy for me.”

Jason gives a high whine of protest when Tim’s fingers finally slide free, and Tim chuckles as he breaks the hold Jason’s legs have around him and sits up.

“Patience,” he scolds, and Jason gives a miserable whimper. Tim reaches for the lube one last time, quickly slicking up his dick and tossing it aside, and then he’s grabbing Jason’s knees and pushing them up towards the sub’s chest. Jason gets the hint and reaches up to grab them, holding them out of the way as Tim lines himself up and then sinks into Jason with one long, slow press that leaves them both moaning desperately.

Tim shifts eventually, readjusting to lean forward and hook Jason’s calves over his elbows and place his palms flat against the mattress. Then he doesn’t hesitate, immediately settling into a brutal pace that has Jason jolting beneath him with each thrust. Jason reaches up to hold onto him, one hand settling along the back of Tim’s neck and the other gripping Tim’s forearm, just below his own leg.

Jason feels _amazing_ around him, so impossibly hot and tight and wet. Every thrust fills the air with the slick noise of lube being pushed around and the slap of skin on skin, and Tim groans against Jason’s lips as he seeks them out for another kiss. Jason kisses back eagerly at first, but it isn’t long before his mouth goes slack, his breath coming out in hot puffs of air through his nose every time Tim slams into him.

Tim plunders Jason’s mouth with his tongue, licking deeper until their lips and chins are both slick with spit. Jason moans needily the entire time, his other hand eventually sliding up Tim’s arm to his shoulder as he clings to him.

Their chests rub together, leaving Jason whimpering and gasping as the clamps on his nipples are roughly nudged and tugged, and Tim groans, leaning into him a little more intentionally to do it on purpose again and again until Jason is crying beneath him. Tim pulls back from the kiss, then, his brow furrowing in concern, but Jason just shakes his head and clutches him tighter, his nails biting into Tim’s skin.

“Donsstop,” he slurs out, and Tim groans and does it again. Eventually, it starts to agitate his own chest, though, and Tim frowns slightly as he pulls back. He stares down at Jason for a long moment, his hips still snapping back and forth in their rapid pace. The sub beneath him looks completely debauched. His eyes are glassy and wet, his cheeks are flushed and wet with tears. His lips are kiss-swollen and slick. As his gaze trails down and alights on Jason’s collar, Tim gets an idea.

He reaches out for Jason’s leash, winding it around his hand until there’s only a very short amount of slack, and then he allows himself to fall backwards. The tugging at the leash forces Jason to follow after him until Tim is sitting on his ass with Jason straddling him. He tugs the leash harder, dragging Jason close enough to kiss and holding him there.

“I think you know what to do,” he mutters, and Jason gives a full-bodied shudder as he moans. Then he starts riding like it’s what he was born to do, and Tim gives a strangled moan as Jason clenches around his cock every time he starts to lift off of it.

“Oh, fuck,” he groans, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment as he presses forward and kisses Jason hungrily. It takes him a moment to get himself together after that, but then Tim brings his other hand to Jason’s chest. He cups over one of his pectorals, groping at it lightly for a moment, and then he grasps onto the bottom of one of the clamps and yanks it hard, tearing it off of Jason’s chest and dropping it onto the mattress.

Jason absolutely howls in response, his head falling back as he breaks from the kiss, and Tim simply gives his attention to Jason’s jaw, instead, sucking and biting and licking at it as he tugs and flicks at Jason’s abused nipple while the feeling is forced to rush back into it.

Jason gasps and sobs and moans, his movements stuttering a few times until Tim gives the leash a harsh tug to remind him of what he’s supposed to be doing.

When Jason’s reactions start to ease again, Tim abandons the first nipple in favour of repeating the entire process on the other side of Jason’s chest. He draws it out this time, teasing his sub as he tugs at the clamp with a few short jerks instead of tearing it off immediately, and Jason’s breath hitches and his body tenses with each false-start.

Tim is so fucking turned on he feels dizzy with it.

He wants to take Jason apart like this every day for the rest of his life. Wants Jason trapped under his thumb, desperate for whatever torment Tim wants to give him because he knows taking it will make Tim happy. He wants to fuck and be fucked by Jason every day, wants to never go too long without hearing the desperate, alluring noises Jason is making right now.

But he needs to live in the now, needs to get through this night before they can even start thinking about other nights to come.

“Are you ready, baby?” he asks, his voice rasping out huskily, and Jason whines and trembles but gives a reluctant nod.

“Yes, Sir,” he practically sobs, and Tim bites harder on his jaw at the same time that he rips the clamp from Jason’s chest. Jason wails, and Tim licks along his jaw before tugging him forward again and kissing him. It doesn’t matter that Jason is too busy crying to kiss him back.

He pinches and twists at Jason’s newly-freed nipple, drawing sharp, wet gasps from Jason with every action, and Jason’s whole body trembles. His thighs flex as they tighten around Tim’s own legs, and his hole clenches around Tim’s cock so tightly that he fears, for a moment, his cock will be crushed inside of it.

The moan that tears out of him in response isn’t as much of a surprise as he would have expected.

“Fuck, _fuck,_ Jay, darling, fuck, that’s it,” he growls. He scratches his nails down over Jason’s pectoral and then keeps going, scratching down his abdomen and his belly, too, and then he wraps his hand around Jason’s cock and starts jerking him off quickly.

“Come on, pet,” he encourages. “You’re doing so good for me, Jay. You’re almost there, aren’t you? Are you ready to come for me and show me what a good boy you can be?”

Jason nods frantically and pitches forward slightly to tuck his face against Tim’s shoulder.

“Yes,” he sobs. “Please, Sir. I can. I want to, please. Please, can I?”

Tim groans and lets go of the leash in favour of clutching at Jason’s head to hold him closer, and Jason sobs against his shoulder as he continues to bounce on Tim’s cock.

“Please,” he begs again, and Tim flicks his wrist slightly the next time he reaches the head of Jason’s dick. The sub wails, trying to buck forward into his grip, and Tim does it again the next time.

“Alright, darling,” he finally says. “Come for me, Jason. Come on my cock and show me what a good boy you are.”

Jason’s teeth close over Tim’s skin, biting down to poorly stifle his scream as he comes, and Tim swears, his own cock jerking at the spark of pain as ribbons of cum shoot out against his stomach. He keeps stroking Jason through the aftershocks of it, even as Jason clenches painfully tight around his own cock, his hole twitching and convulsing as Jason’s orgasm crests. It’s only once Jason unlocks his jaw that Tim really moves.

He lets go of Jason’s cock and pushes him, knocking him down onto his back once more. Tim pulls out as he shifts, kneeling behind Jason and then grabbing his legs and bringing them around his waist. Once he lines back up and thrusts back in, he leans forward and sets his hands on either side of Jason’s face, staring down at him as he ruts wildly into him.

“Look at me,” he growls, and Jason stares up at him dazedly. “You have no idea, darling,” Tim grits out. “No idea how wonderful you are. How proud I am of you. You make me so, fuck, so happy every day, sweetheart.” Jason whimpers beneath him, confusion and awe warring across his face, and Tim knocks them both right back off with a hard thrust that has him opening his mouth around a wordless cry.

“You’re _mine_ now, darling,” he hisses, and Jason clenches around him immediately, making Tim’s breath catch and his thrusts stutter. “You belong to _me._ I’m the only one who is ever going to touch you like this again.”

The sub beneath him whines, and Tim wonders if it’s from overstimulation or from the promise Tim just made. Maybe he’ll remember to ask later.

“I’m gonna claim you now, pet,” Tim says, forcing the words out through a throat that feels tight with both emotion and the strain of holding off his climax. Jason’s legs tighten around him, drawing Tim closer as Jason rocks his own hips up to meet each thrust. “I’m going to make sure you know _exactly. Who. Owns. You._ ”

Each of his final words is punctuated with a particularly hard thrust, his orgasm finally hitting on the second-to-last one, and then Tim speeds up, rocking into Jason’s body incessantly as he spills inside of him, marking the sub as his own in a way he hopes to do again and again and again from now on.

The moan he lets out is long and rumbling, a nearly primal sound, and Jason shudders beneath him, body trembling and clenching rhythmically to milk Tim’s orgasm for all its worth.

“Yours,” he gasps out frantically as Tim cock jerks and spills inside of him. “Yes, yes. Yours, I’m yours. Please. Just yours.”

Tim growls and drops his head, his teeth tugging at Jason’s bottom lip before he kisses him hard, swallowing his words down, down into the depths of his own chest like a promise. He stays there even after his hips have finally stopped snapping forward, even after Jason’s legs have started to loosen around his waist, one of his ankles slipping down the back of Tim’s thigh, instead.

He and Jason trade the very air from their lungs back and forth, and, distantly, Tim’s mind points out that that’s not exactly how oxygen works, but it doesn’t matter in that moment. He’s never felt closer to anyone before in his _life_ , and he refuses to break the kiss for anything short of the end of the world.

Or Jason’s own comfort, it seems, because eventually the body beneath him starts pushing at him, and Tim forces himself to pull back. Jason unwinds his legs completely from around him, letting them drop back onto the bed with a huff of exhaustion, and Tim carefully pulls out and rolls over onto his side, off of Jason.

“Hey,” he murmurs as he stretches out on his side and reaches out to touch Jason’s cheek. Jason rolls over with a groan of his own, and teal eyes turn towards Tim’s baby blues.

Jason doesn’t reply right away, but Tim can glean everything he needs to know for now from the look on his sub’s face.

And, right now, that look is saying that they did good.

* * *

Jason feels… floaty. The same kind of floaty he would often associate with a down.

So that’s probably a good sign.

His Dom’s hand is warm where it remains on his cheek, his thumb stroking gently back and forth over his skin, and Jason shifts, turning into it and pressing a kiss to Tim’s palm as his eyes flutter shut.

Tim makes a pleased little humming sound at that, and Jason finds his body relaxing even further in response.

This is. This is nice.

Maybe, if it’s always going to be like this, Jason can see why most subs are into dynamic sex.

Maybe, if it isn’t always pain and force and _stolen_ , Jason can let himself be one of those subs.

With Tim, of course. Only with Tim.

He squirms, letting out a pleased sigh at the thought of the “claim” Tim had just laid on him. Or in him, rather. Jason finds himself clenching up instinctively, suddenly panicked at the thought of letting Tim’s cum spill out of him, and Tim’s hand stills on his cheek.

“What’s wrong, darling?” he asks, and Jason makes an unhappy noise as he forces his eyes opened.

“S’gonna spill,” he says mournfully, and Tim’s brow furrows in confusion for a moment before smoothing back out.

“Oh, pet,” he says, and Jason shivers as his breath catches in response to something heated in Tim’s tone, “don’t worry about that. I plan on restaking my claim as often as you’ll let me.”

Jason shivers again and shuffles closer, and Tim wraps him up in his arms easily. The hand that lands on his hip trails lower eventually, though, knuckles smoothing up and down the curve of his ass before Tim’s hand trails lower. Jason groans and spreads his legs as much as he can, giving Tim better access as the Dom drags his fingers through the mess of cum dripping from his hole before sliding two fingers back inside.

Jason moans and tucks his face against Tim’s chest, gasping with every thrust of Tim’s fingers.

“We’ll get you a nice plug,” Tim tells him when he finally slips his fingers free once more and settles his hand back on Jason’s hip. “Let you go around all day with my cum inside you. How does that sound?”

Jason nods against his chest and lets Tim hold him even closer as they shift once more.

“Please,” he whispers, and Tim’s lips press dryly against his forehead.

“Anything for you, pet,” he promises, and Jason presses a responding kiss to Tim’s chest.

“Thank you,” he says softly, exhaling the words with his breath, but Tim hears them anyway.

“It was my pleasure,” Tim says. “I’m honoured to be the one you chose.”

Jason hums and nuzzles into Tim’s chest, eyes closed against the drowsiness setting into his bones. Sleep is probably a terrible idea. They need to shower, and eat something, and drink some water, but.

Well, a short nap can’t hurt, right?

“Was always gonna be you,” Jason mumbles belatedly as sleep draws closer.

He’s too tired to interpret the noise that Tim makes as anything other than ‘not bad’.

Just like he’s too tired to register the soft _I love you, Jason_ that follows a few moments later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I really hope you enjoyed it ♥ If the ending seems a little rushed, it's because I wrote the last 10k in a single, six-hour stint and my brain was starting to give up lol.

**Author's Note:**

> Check me out on tumblr at [atasteforsuicidal](https://atasteforsuicidal.tumblr.com/) or on twitter at [xavierurban69](https://twitter.com/xavierurban69). I'm always happy to take questions about any of my works! Just know there is NSFW content posted to both semi-regularly, especially the twitter account.


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